sit still and just watch

I watch that little guy, that Samuel, of mine wander around the house.

He goes from thing to thing. Right now, it’s puzzles. He’s got them lined up in row and is ready to add the pieces. Sometimes it’s tractors. Or trains. But, for now puzzles.  Just minutes prior to deciding that it was puzzles  he was tenderly telling his dad happy bir-day to my dad.

I watched him from my chair in the kitchen.

And I told my husband, someday I’m going to miss that little Sam wandering around.

Sigh.

Isn’t that part of what being a mother is about? Watching those littles grow into biggers grow into middlers grow into teens grow into adults who then start their own journey?

It’s a letting go day by day by day. It’s a grabbing each moment wherever they may be type heart.

I tell my brain remember remember remember remember.

And yet, then I look at my oldest and those memories of her are faded. I wish I had written more down. Took another picture. Captured her voice. Held her longer. Read more stories. Sat still and just watched her.  Yes, that. That sitting still and being in the moment instead of rushing to the next thing.

I can’t fight time.

But, I can choose to embrace today. I can choose to step back and watch them. Enjoy their little sayings. Their interactions. It’s not fighting that they’ll grow, but instead remembering that that they will grow and thus adopting an attitude of gratitude for each day. Being joyful for the little moments — the tractors, the sayings, the noise, the cuddles, the story-telling, the moment in the everyday.

These years of motherhood? They move. Fast.

I’m learning, always learning, to sit still, to watch and to remember.

How about you? When do you need to just sit still?