…it’s just being a mom.
Yesterday, I was irritated. There was a big pile of laundry that needed to be folded (imagine that, laundry here?). This gigantic pile sat in my laundry room for days. No one touched it. Well, they’d dig through it. Or ask for clothes. Or add more clothes to the dirty side. But, no one folded it.
So I began to felt resentment. I remember thinking –
how come they don’t help with the laundry? Don’t they see all this work? Are they just assuming I’ll take care of it?
And I got crabby.
But, while I was folding — swim trunks, and tees, and towels, and bibs, and shorts, and more — my mind started mulling over my “all about me” statement. Then I began to realize (again) that part of being a mom is not initially expecting them to see the work, but rather training them to learn how to do the work. Then, once the expectations are set, then I have a right to be frustrated if the work wasn’t done.
I hadn’t set the goals.
I simply assumed they’d see all the work the way I did. And then I assumed that because they didn’t do it that they didn’t really care about all the work that I had to do. Then I started to develop a grudge based on my own inaccurate assumptions.
Planning and training takes work. Hard, hard work. There are stewardship areas in our home where I’ve invested this time and energy. The kitchen, garbage and girls’ bathroom. Those stewardship areas are maintained. Completed. I was convicted to do the same with the laundry. And that means letting go of the perfect folds that I like, and instead praising for the learning attempts that they make. And holding them accountable. It’s all to easy to do it myself — but then look where that leads.
So starting today, I’ll be developing my goals and targets for laundry.
And then we’ll see how many posts about laundry I do after this.
14 comments
You remind me so much of my own mom. She would say to us, “don’t you see what needs to be done?” And honestly, I never really thought about all the work that had to be done, until she said something. It’s easy for kids to miss out on how much a mom does. 🙂 Good idea to delegate some work to help them learn responsibility.
ha. My mom made me and my little sister learn how to fold laundry when I we were under 12… I was in 3rd grade, my little sis in 1st… hahahhaha… We do it every Friday before we can go out- it works… for my mom… 😛 I hate folding though. ha.
love, makay
Sounds good to me. It’s good to set goals.
Last week I had a huge pile of clothes to fold. While I was cleaning bathrooms Zeke would come and show me a piece of clothing. I didn’t think anything of it. A little later Zeke and his sister had folded almost all the clothes. Even though they weren’t folded as I wanted them. I left them as is. It was so nice to have them help. They said they thought I needed some help. HA! With laundry I think we all need help.
Thanks for sharing! many blessings to you
~Dorcas
I really believe that mothering is not for wussies… lots of hard work and not just the actual physical exertion sorta stuff either.
I am positive when my kids get old enough to do laundry I will feel the same way!! I am the only laundry doer around here and presently the only dish washer as well. I seriously thank God I do not have to wash dishes or laundry by hand!!
I need to get on this! My mom taught us to do laundry early on and though I hated it as a kid, I’m glad that I can do it now! And as a mom, I totally understand the need to share the load (literally and figuratively).
Great post.
What a great reminder to train our children! It IS hard work!!
Jessica
I agree! Communication is so hard for me. Why didn’t you just do it I ask, but really, why didn’t I just nicely ask my hubby to help! We are all learning all the time aren’t we? Thanks!
parenting so takes work and lots of laundry 🙂
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You know what? I’ve been going through the same thing a bit over here. Like, I’m supposed to know these things, but my kids NEED me to teach them. Usually their inadequacies are my errors in not teaching them something correctly (or at all!).
So, I’ve been making some extra effort and taking some extra time to just be with them …teaching them along the way.
I think summer makes us lazy and gripy – what do you think?
So nice stopping by! Going off to read beans beans beans. I wonder what that one is about? hee hee
Perfect.
And that is exactly how you eat an elephant, one bite at a time.
this post is fantastic…
thank you for this reminder~
so very important to be patient with our family….and teach them values and skills as well.
You remind me of my mother. She would expect my brother and I to do certain chores, thinking that we already knew which chores she wanted us to do. She would get angry that we didn’t do the chores she never specifically told us to do.
She eventually caught on and would always have a “chore list” sitting on the kitchen counter when we got home from school. (As we’ve gotten older, that chore list wasn’t needed so much.) We no longer have an excuse not to do housework. 😉 But it has to be done, so we’re willing to help out mom.
And our laundry totally gets piled up like that sometimes. We have lazy weeks where clean load after clean load will get dumped on the couch until it’s completely overflowing and all of our clothes are missing. That’s when we know it’s definitely time to fold. Haha.
By the way, I have an award for you on my blog :).
I am the same way. Sometimes I think, “do they not see what needs to be done around here”. But then again, I have to realize that if I haven’t set the standard through training and what’s expected, then I cannot expect someone to know. I thought husbands and children were supposed to be mind readers!