dear homework, I need a break.

I think the end of the school year is most welcomed by me.

Not my kids, but me.

It’s homework. It makes me go crazy sometimes.

First of all, let’s get one thing straight. I love my kids teachers. All of them. In Minnesota and in Tennessee – they’ve all been wonderful and great. They listen and love my kids and work so hard to do an amazing job. But homework?

It’s just so tiring sometimes. Like I just want to blink and make it not happen.

I get homework. I get studying.

But I feel like I’m the one failing at homework.

I can’t seem to keep up with everything – all the emails and study places online and journal prompts and online grading and messages and papers due and projects and all of it – sometimes I feel like I’m the one who gets the big fat F as a parent. Yeah, I do.

And I think I’m a good mom. We work through spelling words. We practice reading. We do math sheets. Sometimes we log into the study island things. We work on being polite. We try to keep up.

But let me tell you – IT IS A GREAT DEAL OF MANAGING.

And sometimes? Sometimes I just want a night where there is a night off.

A homework free night.

Because friends, I’m just a bit tired.

I want to have time at night to spend time with my kids. Playing a game. Or watching a silly show. Or taking a walk. Or whatever. But it seems like they come home from school tired and then we start homework. And that’s not what they want to do. They just want to be free. To play. But instead it’s me, saying hurry up let’s get this homework done.

(I’ve homeschooled before – so yes, I know that’s an option, but it’s not for me as a single mom. So let’s just leave that said.)

Anyway, it’s been kind of crazy trying to manage. So instead of being perfect I’m attempting balance. Trying to figure out how we do all this managing and loving our kids and having to spend so much time writing words down.

So we try our best in this house.

I really do. And if it means emails to teachers apologizing for missing an email or not getting everything done, then it does. Because you know why? I try and try and try. And I LOVE my kids And I’m only human. And sometimes the walk comes before working on the spelling words with the -ed at the end. And sometimes it means going over the spelling words in the car on the way to school. And it means trying, loving and teaching my kids that they are more valuable than a grade. And that we try hard.

We try hard.

Isn’t that ironic?

I try hard as a mom. You do too.

And homework? And the battles?

Don’t forget how much trying that is too. Don’t ever forget.

So tonight as I sit at the table and try to help with piles of homework I’ll be counting to ten, thinking about the ice cream and remembering how this is showing up for those kids. Showing up.

Showing up, even when I need a break, or you need a break?

That’s what moms do.

That is love.

One -ed word, one algebra problem, one science project after another.

~Rachel