Ready? Here you go:
1. Having a messy house.
2. Having dishes in the sink.
3. Bottle feeding.
4. Breastfeeding.
5. When the kids have a melt down in the store.
6. Whatever diapering choice you make.
7. Serving breakfast for dinner.
8. Serving leftover dinner for breakfast.
9. Birthday parties (if you do one – that’s a gold star there.)
10. Crumbs in the back of the car, van, or vehicle that you transport those kids in. And handprints on the windows. 
11. Getting coffee.
12. Going through the Starbucks line.
13. Going through the Starbucks line twice.
14. Having difficulty turning the jumbo cart.
15. Asking for wipes to sanitize the cart.
16. Vaccine choices.
17. Educational choices.
18. Decor choices.
19. The time you yelled at your kids (wait, say sorry, but don’t hold onto guilt.)
20. Ordering fast food.
21. Your kid’s food allergies. (never, never, never)
22. Working.
23. Â Staying at home.
24. Â Working part time.
25. Â Not volunteering enough.
26. For trying to do the impossible.
27. For not getting everything done.
28. Â For asking a question.
29. For sleeping in a bit late.
30. For missing the phone call/text/message.
31. Â For not having time to do a new project.
32. For having Legos everywhere or stepping on Legos (okay maybe an empathy sorry here).
33. For crying over spilled milk.
34. For not having organic milk.
35. For not having all the laundry folded.
36. For rushing through the day.
37. For losing the paperwork.
38. For things totally out of our control. Like weather. Out of our control.
39. For your child not cooperating at the doctor’s office.
40. For your child not cooperating at the doctor’s office when they want to stick a stick down their throat.
41. For the wait at the Pharmacy.
42. For runny noses.
43. For needing help.
44. That our kids use electronics.
45. For not returning the dishes from a delivered meal promptly. (love disposable)
46. For being sad.
47. For not having treats in the house. Or for having treats.
48. For just being frank.
49. For spending too much time on the computer.
50. For taking time for ourselves.
51. For spending money.
52. For being sick. (oh my word, this one. . . like we can help being sick)
53. Â For hiding chocolate.
54. For correcting the sales total.
55. That you don’t like dinner.
56. That the noodles are mushy.
57. For calling right now and bothering you.
58. For not being able to say what you want to say.
59. For not posting the pics from whatever event in time.
60. For any type of bodily fluid that leaves a child’s body and gets on anyone else.
61. For stains on the walls.
62. For handprints on the windows.
63. That the toys in the yard aren’t put away.
64. That you didn’t send Christmas cards.
65. For saying “I’m sorry”
66. For saying “I’m sorry for saying ‘I’m sorry.’ ”
67. For my marriage. Or relationship. Or whatever state you’re in.Â
68. For not being a good friend.
69. That you cannot eat that sugary cereal.
70. For taking a nap.
71. For not resting when the baby was rested.
72. For watching television.
73. Eating out.
74. Using pain meds during childbirth.
75. Asking questions at the doctor’s office.
76. That the kids are tired.
77. Â For being tired.
78. Â For being in pj’s at three pm.
79. Â For any appearance thing. Any. All of them.
80. Â For asking for the volume to be turned down on anything.
81. That you don’t parent the way others  think you should.
82. For your packed lunch that is rather boring.
83. For bumping into you at the store. Or any accidental bump. ***edited to add — this one has created many questions — it’s not that you don’t apologize for bumping into someone it’s when you’re out and someone totally bumps into you without realizing you’re there and you apologize for simply being in the way versus simply saying all good? or it’s okay. I would never endorse rudeness. There’s no joy there.Â
84. Asking questions.
85. Not decorating enough or trendy enough or for the rip in the couch or faded curtains.
86. For being overprotective.
87. For saying “no” to letting the kids see that movie.
88. For not doing treat bags.
89. For not letting you hold the baby.
90. For making you wash your hands before you hold the baby.
91. For canceling the playdate because your kids are sick.
92. For taking too long at checkout.
93. That dinner isn’t ready yet. Or lunch. Or breakfast.
94. For asking for help with the kids.
95. That you have to do chores. Or homework.
96. That we cannot afford that right now.
97. For not finishing the to-do list.
98. For being lonely.
99. For our emotions.Â
100. For just being real.
Listen.
Like really listen and believe this ->Â
Real is awesome.
Real makes mistakes. Real falls down. Real tries again.
The real you?
That is beautiful.
And never something to be apologized for. ~Rachel
And if you’re interested -> here’s the list on Facebook on the Finding Joy page. Thank YOU for sharing and for helping me build this list. I appreciate the dialogue.
30 comments
“For being sad”…
Thank you.
This is so good! Thank you thank you thank you.
There are so many things on this list I have been guilty of apologizing for. It’s in those times I need to remember I’m not the only one who’s ever had had a child, nor am I perfect at everything all the time. 🙂
Thank you for asking for our help. It was like a mini therapy session for me to think of all the things I needlessly apologize for. “For just being real”
Great way to end an astonishing list.
Oh my heck….this made me laugh so hard, how did you get into my head!?!? Thank you oh thank you for voicing all those little nagging things that hang around and pop up….at any given time! 🙂
Thank you. I love this.
Thank you so much for this. I’ve started with postpartum depression the last month and this post has helped me more than you know.
Cute list but I think sorry is getting a bad rap here. So I will say in advance that I am sorry to not agree in fear of reprisals because this is not a favorable comment. However sorry sometimes needs his older brother courage.. so here it goes…
I would rather walk 500 miles and say sorry for saying sorry too much than to turn my back and never listen or care about the feelings of others or not be humble enough to think I could not have done something better. Remorse is awesome! Jesus shared remorse in many examples. In the garden before his last days… More people need some practice with ‘sorry’.. in traffic. In line. At the school yard. Sorry is almost more polite in many instances and strenghtens ones soul the more it is used correctly to be YES real with yourself and others. Did you say you Can’t say sorry any more?
Now “Can’t”…. that’s just UnAmerican!
My #101 rule is I CAN and will say sorry as often as needed to show my softer humbler side of being real unperfec. Tought 4 kids & 1 gson sorry is as close to real love for others as one can get. Like Jesus with the loaves and fishes when the miracle ran dry…Sorry we are all out, instead of a long lecture that they missed the glorious lesson!
Remorse is fashionable. Wear it well and often and let it empower you!
NOTE. Secretly my fav sorry is the sarcastic sorry…that keeps you out of HR instead of something more truthful coming out of your mouth. Such a strong tool ‘Sorry’ & an excellent family board game!
Stop apologizing for having a disabled child!
YEEESS!
Thank you!
im sorry that I feel overwhelmed, and that I shout at daddy in front of baby, really very sorry about that one. I am never alone and sometimes it’s gets too much.
Fantastic list…and sssooooo true!
WOW! This is an amazing list! I’ve be known to say almost all of these…and can’t believe others do too! This makes me feel SO much better about myself as a parent! Thank you! :))
Love this! I remember shortly after our 4th child was born (4 kids under 7) and I was solo parenting (husband in USAF). My mom called that evening, and I was so frustrated and upset with myself because the boys (6, 4, 2) had eatend pb&j for lunch AND for dinner, and the oldest had made the sandwiches for everyone at dinnertime. I felt like such a failure. My mom reminded me that all that really mattered was that everyone had been fed that day. I’ve never forgotten those words of grace. I often replayed them in my mind when I failed to live up to my exacting and unrealistic standards as a mom!
Sometimes a sandwich is enough. =)
We ended up with 5 kids, and they’re all adults now except for the 17 year old. I remind myself of those harried moments and try to spread the grace to other struggling moms.
Remember “Love is NEVER having to say You’re sorry”.
Thank you for this list. It has made me feel better about all the times I’ve said sorry (to nearly all of that list) during my 18 years of being a mum (single mum for most of it) to my adorable-pain in the backside-hugable-annoying-caring 5 children.
For not wanting to be intamite..
Agree 100%…. Give us some time!
Absolutely wonderful post!
Wish someone would tell this to my husband.
I learned early on that the reason I was apologizing for ‘anything’ is because I cared too much about what other people thought instead of feeling and modeling confidence in being a good mom. All 100 items in this list are signs of a dedicated, loving mother.
We live in a society that doesn’t esteem parenthood as successful living. But we moms who are good moms actually keep our society healthy by raising normal, well-adjusted children who later become the adults we live around. The future of this nation. NEVER, NEVER apologize for doing the most important and hardest job in the world that doesn’t come with an instruction manual.
If you’re apologizing for any of these it’s because a change in perspective and confidence is needed. Raising healthy, future adults is the most challenging job on the planet. You only get one shot at it and you don’t get paid, you don’t get called a hero, it’s mostly unappreciated and the most rewarding AFTER you’re done and your offspring are living productive lives and contributing to society.
Know what it is you’re really doing by being the great mom who has 1000 things she SHOULDNT be apologizing for. Hold your head up in confidence because your good parenting will keep our world a decent place to live in. See the bigger picture.
I love this! I would also add “Not being in the mood for making love like before.”
Thanks for this! My husband said he left us because I gained weight, snored and left dishes in the sink. Those weren’t reasons. Those were excuses he used to try to justify finding a newer model.
Love it, but disagree with the vaccine choices….I whole heartedly feel that unless a child has a severe allergy they should be vaccinated! Sorry. Too many things are coming back because people are choosing not to vaccinate. Babies and kids should be vaccinated.
Too many things are coming back because people aren’t tested before they enter the country like they used to be. And, the pathological organisms change; the vaccines don’t work like they did originally. –Biochemist mom
Thank you so much for this list! It reminds me of how much of a burden I put on myself in an attempt to please others. I plan on printing this list as a reminder to be real.
I would add these two things:
Stop apologizing for ending phone calls abruptly because your child needs you.
Stop apologizing when your child won’t eat.
Right! We somehow feel the pressure to do things in a certain way, to have things a certain way, when in reality, NO ONE ELSE CARES. I know I don’t care if my cousin (mother-of-six) has dishes in the sink, or hasn’t brushed her hair in 2 days. The only people you have to watch out for are the nosey neighbors and such who will complain about any little thing. But I’m not about to try to please them. I have made myself a safeguard promise that I will not overschedule appointments and other such commitments anymore. I am tired, and I can’t do everything.
I can’t wait for the next opportunity to not say sorry. It should be happening in oh, about 3.5 minutes.
Yesterday, my special needs son had a 103.7 fever after two weeks of diarrhea (that no one could crack) so we took him to the good ER 90 minutes away. Today, he has a low-grade fever… adn I feel guilty for just putting him up in his room to nap – because now I’m not entertaining and preoccupying him when he is sick… and because I am enjoying having a little break from entertaining and preoccupying him. Silly! Glad I found this post today for that, and for the food allergy one because a third doctor told us at teh ER that he’s seen a lot of kids get chronic diarrhea from Pediasure.. the stuff I kept buying and lovingly giving him for the last two months to help him gain weight. Mom guilt! 😀