I knew it was coming.
Samuel, little Samuel, was wandering around the living room in those favorite monkey pajamas with the orange super soft shirt. Every once in a while he’d put his head down on the couch and take a quick rest. I was watching him. That little one, up a bit too late, trying so hard to stay awake.
Samuel?
Samuel do you want to rock with mama?
He looked up, in those sweet little jammies, and shook his head no.
Wake. Wake time.
I just let him play while glimpses of the sun faded into the west. He kept playing, sneaking little peeks at me sitting in the rocking chair watching him, hoping for just a couple more minutes of time before bed.
Samuel.
Little eyes look at me. Worried, just a bit.
Samuel.
Samuel come rock in the chair with mama.
And he came. Running through the room, over to me, and let me scoop him up. I gathered up that little one, nestled him in my arms, and started to rock him. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I patted his back. We rocked. Back and forth.
I knew it would be short.
He’s growing up. He’s busy and sees what he wants to do. I knew, I knew right then I was to savor these early evening minutes of him being absolutely content to rock with me.
Remember.
Remember him. Remember him now. Little, in my arms, rocking away.
Wanting to be with me.
And then it was done.
No bed. Not tired. Wake time, mama.
I let him down, and watched those little monkey printed pants wander back to the pile of John Deere tractors in the corner, and I sighed just a bit.
Soon these rocking days will be done.
Gone.
So tonight, tonight, tonight I rested in those minutes where I was blessed to rock my Samuel.
Grab those moments, I tell myself over and over. Grab them. Slow down.
Slow down.
After a couple more minutes, I gathered him up, carried him up the stairs and brought him to his room. Now, there was no more fighting that inevitable it’s time for bed surrender. We stood at the edge of his bed, and I sang him a little song, and then tucked him up.
Love you, Samuel.
Love you, mama.
Forever.
~Rachel
edited to add: this was originally written three years ago – those rocking chair moments have certainly almost vanished and are now replaced with covers tucked to the ears and just one more book and asks for water. Sweet moments matter, they really do.
11 comments
Beautiful and so so true. As I read your words, it brought tears to my eyes, because my son is the same way – still wanting to cuddle but wanting to be independent and on the go too. I cherish those moments, because I know they will be gone way too soon.
Ah, the rocking chair days. I still have one I rock to sleep every night. I do love it, but there are nights I think I have so many things to do and I might try to get my daughter to do it. They do vanish all too soon.
I remember those days and how I would feel so at peace when I rocked them…and yet feeling it slip away…knowing it wouldn’t be long…it’s hard to let them go.
The serenity of rocking my babies. I miss that now that they are all grown up. Beautifully written.
yep… I am trying to cherish every single snuggle because my girls are growing SO fast!
this reminds me of bedtime with hunter. he always wants me to hold him for a few minutes, which really turns into several, and i always say, he won’t want this forever. so i do it now every day. : ) because they are only so little for a little while!
Oh how time flies!
Continuing to lift up prayers!
Hebrews 4:14-16 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
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Occasionally, when no one is looking, the 11 year old still sits on my lap and hugs me. He is the babe of seven and rest assured, the littlest hug longer than the oldest. I think we make that happen as moms, but it is good and then the grandbabies come and they fill the gap nicely. God is wise that way.
Oh, this brought back so many, many memories for me from way back when. The great thing is that you will one day get to enjoy rocking again with the Grans and it is just as special. But, the years go by so swiftly and we can never get them back so we have to make all the memories we can, while we can. Good for you! Happy Wednesday!
Awwwww… Seriously made me tear up… Rapidly approaching those days at my house and while I love the little girl I have, I miss the cuddly baby. Time moves too fast!
My son is 2 and some night he wakes up saying “rock with mama in the chair.” Even though I’m tired and slightly annoyed that he’s up in the middle of the night, once I pick him up and he lays his head on my shoulder all of the melts away. It’s just me and my boy rocking in the chair all snuggled up (and occasionally falling asleep) and its in these moments that I realize how blessed I truly am and know that these moments won’t last forever so I savor this special times.