Do you enjoy your children?
Laugh with them? Like being around them?
Talk well of them? {how many times do you complain to others?}
Or has motherhood and parenting and raising those children become, well, a chore?
It can happen so subtly. Quietly.
One day we’re so excited about motherhood. We read the books, the magazines, and listen with eager ears to those around us. We watch them – love observing them go through life – and wake up each morning excited for the next new thing.
And then life happens.
Real life. All that stuff that I write about – the bills, stress, relationships, cleaning, running around in the car, the laundry, cooking, attitudes, just life stuff. And all of that whittles away at the delight in our children. They become representative of work. Which, they of course are, but that can’t be the primary definition. We knew they’d take work – energy from us – but they’re simply not work. We lose seeing them as gifts – and begin to see what they didn’t do, failed to do, lost, left behind, and more.
I’ve heard mothers complaining about their children. Sigh. I’ve complained before. About attitudes, actions, activities, and all of that work. Do we as moms need to talk about our struggles? Yes. But, moms, I implore of you to try to build each other up and to talk well of your children. There’s a difference between seeking advice and fellowship and just, well, complaining. For everything that you see wrong try to find two things that are right. When we adopt the attitude that only sees the negative then we begin to lose the delight. Our children deserve to know that we, their mothers, talk well of them.
Sometimes it’s hard. It’s hard when they’re pushing every single button. When they don’t let us sleep. When we worry. When they pull back. When we’re overworked and overwhelmed. When we get stuck in the daily grind. When we lose the joy of motherhood.
I know my eyes get weary. I see the work, the things of this world, and lose the delight in the everyday.
Bring back the delight. Begin to see them with eyes of wonder, love, and respect. They are only with us for an incredibly short time. Begin to make yourself talk well of them. Look for something good in them first – Write it down – Every single day – two things that you love. Sit back, watch them, and be grateful. Cultivate the delight in your mothering heart again. This is a gift that we as moms can bless our children with – we can be the ones who love them unconditionally, who believe in them, and who delight in them.
How about you? Have you lost the delight?
Bring it back.
They are worth it.
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18 comments
You always write the right thing at the exact moment I need it – you are so good too me 🙂
(ack capture is BACK)
You need to send your posts into a publishing company. 🙂
This is so true!!!!! I’m not a wife or mom yet, but I have seen this in some other moms…they way they talk about their children–even their husbands is not encouraging to anyone. What you wrote needs to be said and you wrote it in an encouraging, understanding and wise way. Thanks for sharing!
-maria
Somehow you always know when a certain thought or emotion is just what I need to hear about Rachel 🙂 I’ve been learning to relish and be present in the moments more lately which has been a blessing but I particularly love your suggestion to write things down that we love about them. Thank you!
Thank you Jesus! This is EXACTLY what I needed to read today as this is something that has been weighing heavily on me. You, my friend, are a joy!
You are so right! Today I need to find joy in my son!
I truly needed this. 🙂
Del gratias. Do you mind if I print this to hang on my bathroom mirror so I can re-read this every morning?
beautifully written, thank you for speaking to my heart today!
Thank you so much for the reminder. I stumbled upon your lovely blog and am now following along. It’s so refreshing to read someone being so real and encouraging. Thank you.
Emily
Indeed…they truly are! 🙂
Oh my … you wrote this just for me! Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. I want to be the mommy God created me to be! Appreciate you so much!
Oh my … you wrote this just for me! Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. I want to be the mommy God created me to be! Appreciate you so much!
Things really shift when your kids get older and move out…and give you grand kids! I spent some time today just watching one of my grand son’s sleep! It was amazing!
Lifting up prayers right now!
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.
My email address
It is uncanny how often your posts are just what I need to hear at the right time. Thank you!
Love LOVE LOVE this post..could have written it myself..if I had a blog..lol..
I say this exact thing to my husband and try to take the same attitude with not complaining about him to others as well. I feel like it is more along the lines of negativity breeds more negativity.I will hear women talk about their children so awfully.
I was at Trader Joes today and 2 moms were shopping together and there was a 3 yr old girl in the middle of them..all they talked about was their other kids and how their attitudes were awful unless they threatened “time out” etc…they were oblivious of me as well as the 3 yr old they brought along. I almost started crying.It really was sad.
I have littles myself ages 10 weeks to 6 yrs…I am weary at times. My 6 yr old has huge spec needs that try the whole family everyday all day….yet when I bring him up I am asking for prayers and support..not mindless complaining..
I will also add my children were all adopted at birth. i know many disagree…but until you are faced with truely possible not having children…or not having that choice be just yours…that you have to have alot of things align such as adoption agencies…birthmothers…etc…I don’t think many mothers can truely know how much at times they take their kids for granted.
It is so normal…but I have never complained about a night time feeding…a messy face….kids crying (my husband does complain a bit on that one..lol:) )…I am so thankful for one…the fact we have 4….4 precious souls/Blessings in 7 years is in itself Gods greatest gift to us.
If I had been able to conceive..I am not sure I would appreciate my children the way I do.
It is hard…I stay at home mostly…I homeschool….I cook..clean just like everyone else…I just try so very hard to appreciate and take it slow and devour it for as long as I can.
GREAT POST!!!
Liz
I think it’s such a hard balance between being realistic about the job of being a parent, or being the braggy or complaining mom. As much as I don’t like hearing moms always complain, it’s also hard to listen to mom’s who always think their child is perfect. If we can find a balance between; this mommy thing is hard, but I enjoy my children, it would be a lovely world. Great post.
yes! thank you for writing this– you are right– talk well of your children. The constant of the opposite ( or just even a little of it to their ears ) can leave such lasting, painful damage!