Spring has come.
Along with that comes buds popping, birds returning, grass growing, and mud.
Kay, at Heart and Soul Pursuits, started a new project called Inspire Me. A couple weeks ago she contacted me asking if I could write about specific ways in which I live — destined, devoted or daring — and how. Honestly, I really believe that life is a collection of all three each ebbing and flowing creating each day. That being said, right now, in my journey, I’ve been focused on the idea of devoted.
Devoted to finding joy.
Devoted to my family.
Devoted to embracing who God made me to be.
You see, I struggle with thinking that I’d be better if — if I was better scheduled, or more structured, or I finish an entire curriculum, or my house was like this, or I look like this, or so on. As I gradually begin to listen to these ifs regarding myself I begin to focus on just the mud.
At least it seems like mud to me.
So I’ve been praying. And thinking. And pondering. And starting to recognize that maybe, just maybe, I need to start resting in some of the character traits that I’ve been fighting. These traits are who the Lord designed me as — and that instead of running from what I think is muddy I just need to sit in and embrace it.
Here’s an example: I’ve looked at how I homeschool — without the rigorous box checking and tight daily schedule — and have realized how I’ve fought that part of me for years. I so wanted to fit this mold of what I thought was ideal homeschooling — so sure that that way was the right way and certainly convinced that my way didn’t measure up.
Ever since Samuel got sick with Celiac Disease this winter, God has used that challenging situation to challenge me. I’ve begun to look at myself and our homeschooling philosophy as no longer muddy, but unique, designed for our family and for our lives. We find joy and beauty and life in it — from choosing to utilize a sunny day and work in the garden and save math for the days of rain or snow or in making lunch together at 1:30 pm instead of 12 noon sharp or in letting my kids read and read and read and read and forgetting the schedule for the morning.
Or letting them play in the mud. Being creative. Kids.
God designed me. I’ve become determined to embrace and devote myself to becoming who HE wants me to be — not who I think I should be or who I think others think I should be or who the world says I should be — but the wife, mother, daughter, friend that is what Christ wants.
And sometimes, just sometimes, that discovery means being okay in the mud.
Because even mud is beautiful.
My challenge to you? Start looking and praying about the muddy places. Maybe, just maybe, those things that we don’t like are exactly how we’re meant to be.