lessons from Samuel

There’s a hidden beauty in waking before everyone else.  My home is strangely quiet.  In the midst of the calm there is an energy of anticipation — what will the day bring? who will wake up first?  and how long will this moment of silence last?

Samuel is asleep in my arms.  His warm body spread out, his arms stretched over his head. Safe. He knows that I’ve got him. Even though the position he’s in looks less than ideal for sleeping he’s secure enough to sleep. It’s beautiful.

Samuel & Chloe 10/09

Ever since writing about where my worth is rooted I’ve been convicted that, just like the song, I wander much too quickly.  I’m fickle, and skittish, and look for security in the shallow roots of this world.  I tell my children to trust, and then my heart trembles.

Then I look at Samuel.  When he’s hungry — he wants me. When he’s happy — he wants me. When he’s tired — he wants me.  When he’s hurting — he wants me.  In fact, he’s content to simply be strapped to my back in a baby carrier.  He simply wants to be around and with me.

I want to be with my Savior.

I want to go through this life knowing that alone I am weak, yet with him I am strong.  I get it reversed.  I think I can do all this stuff and manage on my own strength, and then when I fail I realize how weak I am.  Then I seek Him.   There would be so much joy and freedom in following the lesson of Samuel — of seeking Jesus first, living deeply rooted, and living with His strength in all circumstances.  Good or bad.  Samuel simply wants to be with me.  That’s the lesson.

Oh, how I want to be with Jesus in all my days.