I think I read that phrase at least a dozen times a day.
I love being a mom, but there are times where I am just going crazy.
I love being a mom, but I just want a moment to myself.
I love being a mom, but I really don’t know what to do next.
I love being a mom, but I miss me.
I love being a mom, but I don’t remember how to be happy.
I love being a mom, but I had all these dreams.
I love being a mom, but no one told me how hard this would be.
I love being a mom, but I just want a break.
I love being a mom, but.
So often when I read those words I can feel the heart behind it.
I can see the tears, feel the fatigue and hear the risk in articulating that there just might be some parts of this motherhood journey that are simply not easy. It doesn’t look like the parenting that we all had in our heads and the 1-2-3 step program to perfect kids that was thrown away the first day. Okay maybe day two after we realized that getting them to sleep wasn’t as easy as a lullaby, pat on the back and tiptoeing out.
It’s not easy to admit that we’re struggling. It’s not easy to admit that we might need that oh-so-needed break. It’s just plain and simple a little bit humbling. There should be a chapter in those parenting books called Humbled Mom Moments Happen Often.
So we’ve learned to protect ourselves and to make sure that we’re a good mom we tend to qualify our words about our now stories with I love being a mom, but. Because, heaven forbid, there is something that we do not like in this moment about motherhood. That wouldn’t be matching the boxes of perfectionism that today’s world superimposes upon all of us.
But the truth is this – aren’t we allowed a moment for ourselves and for our dreams and to say that we need a break and that we’re missing happy? Wanting those things doesn’t take away the fact that we love being a mom. And yet, yet, yet – we, including me, qualify all of those struggles with words making sure that it is known that we love being a mom.
What if, and what if sometimes where we don’t like being a mom? In fact, I’ve written about that – What if sometimes you don’t like motherhood? – and before I hit publish I was terrified that I wouldn’t be seen as a good enough mom.
Because the truth is that there are mom moments where I’m like I’m out – this is way too much.
But, even in those times, you guessed it, I deep deep down love being a mom.
You are not a bad mom nor a mom who doesn’t love being a mom when you wish for a break. Or to sleep in more. Or when you take time for yourself. I know that we’re told all the time to cherish the moments with our kids. I know that sometimes we feel the guilt for not embracing the moment. I know it.
It doesn’t make us not love our kids when there are parts of life and motherhood that are hard.
It just really doesn’t.
I know that some of you are pushed to your breaking point. I know that there are some of you with a pile of littles under five and feel like you are underwater. I know that there are some of you with lives that seem to be crumbling in front of you. I know that there are some of you who just want a break. I know that there are some of you who have more laundry and chores than you can manage. I know it.
And I know that even in all the craziness and when you have a moment to chill and sit back that you love being the mom for your kids.
So, my friend, here’s why I want you to breathe.
When you have those thoughts – even those times when you want a break and motherhood is driving you nuts – I want you to remember that it doesn’t make you a bad mom for feeling them or articulating them.
You are just being real.
In a world of Instagram filters and Pinterest Projects and Facebook updates and more more more more to do. We’re told to have it together all the time. And then when we just need someone to hear us – someone to say you are not alone in this – we often qualify our real parts with I love being a mom, but.
Sweet mom. You are wonderful. You are wonderful even on the days when you feel broken. You are wonderful on the days when you feel like you are on top of the world. You are wonderful on the moments when you don’t know what to do next. You are wonderful, because you are you.
I love being a mom.
I have moments where I need a break. I have moments where my kids make me crazy. I have moments where I want happy. I have moments where I didn’t realize it would be this hard. I have moments where I am exhausted. I have moments where I am feeling awesome. I have moment when I hit the snooze a dozen times. I have moments of homemade dinners. I have moments of packaged meals. I have moments where I am late. I have moments where we are way early. I have moments of joy. I have moments of overwhelm.
I am real.
I love being a mom, and I am real.
ps. A beautiful reader left perhaps the most beautiful comment on the Finding Joy Facebook page about this post, Katie said I love being a mom, it’s exhausting, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Tears. And amen. And yes.