I’m invested in them – beyond superficial, beyond money – but for their hearts.
Sometimes we get a Taco Bell super pack of tacos. We’ve gone on vacations together to Virginia, Memphis and Gulf Shores. I know where everyone likes to sit in the van too. I know that at exactly 7:33 the bus leaves with my middle school boys. I know which brand of gluten free chicken nuggets to buy. I know that Settlers of Catan is a favorite game and that we are missing one of the blue road pieces. I know that to get to school, to get into that line, that I need to leave the house between 6:44 and 6:47 or else we might be late.
I love being their mom.
I love it so much that I will show up for them day after day after day.
I will never grow tired of showing up, of fighting for them, of giving of myself for them.
That’s what I’ve learned.
And friends, that is what they will remember. Maybe you aren’t divorced like me or maybe you are in a great marriage or maybe in a different spot, but the truth still stands for you. In fact, no matter what your parenting story is the truth is you need to know the details. And you will, when you show up. You need to be invested, to show up, to love them for them. It’s such a magnificent power when we know them because we are there for them. You see, life will throw your curveballs. Several years ago, when I found out I had a broken chip in my ankle and probably needed surgery the most beautiful moment unfolded. You know what happened? My kids showed up for me. They knew that I loved the orange fuzzy blanket and to watch Food Network shows. They made me coffee with creamer and cleaned the kitchen.
They know me.
They know me because I know them.
They show up for me because I show up for them.
You know what matters in the lives of our kids?
Knowing them. Not forgetting them or popping in on occasion or mumbling “uh-huh”, but really giving of yourself for them. Work hard for them, invest in them, know them. Know those details that you can’t buy, can’t pop in and know, but the details that you learn because under no circumstance will you not not show up for them.
So keep being there.
Trust me when I tell you that you will be just fine. You will make it through. You will find joy and happiness. Your kids will remember the showing up, the being there.
Love, mothering, parenting, it is in the details.