i have to stop

by Rachel Marie Martin
I simply have to stop.
I have to stop watching the raw video footage from the tsunami.

{you know, the footage that every news station shows over and over and over}

Not because I don’t care
Not at all
I care deeply.

Very deeply.

I must stop because my heart is becoming numb

and I don’t want to become numb to such tragedy.

And yet my heart aches.
I can’t sleep well
Images of rushing water cloud my thoughts
Too many videos played too many times.
So much loss.
I just can’t anymore.
**
But what I can do is live fully.
Thankful for life
Thankful for this morning breath
Thankful for the butter, jelly, and bread
Thankful for each of my children who greets me
Thankful for the light of dawn.
Thankful for the chores to do
Thankful for my home
Thankful for laughter
Thankful for safety and peace.
Thankful.
Remembering Japan
Praying for Japan
and
Embracing life

Not taking a moment for granted.

Thankful for the gift of today.

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10 comments

StacyA March 15, 2011 - 12:38 pm

Rachel, we’ve been praying Psalm 46 for Japan. 1God is our (A)refuge and strength,
[b]A very (B)present help (C)in trouble.
2Therefore we will (D)not fear, though (E)the earth should change
And though (F)the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
3Though its (G)waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah.
4There is a (H)river whose streams make glad the (I)city of God,
The holy (J)dwelling places of the Most High.
5God is (K)in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will (L)help her when morning dawns.
6The nations (M)made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He (N)raised His voice, the earth (O)melted.
7The LORD of hosts (P)is with us;
The God of Jacob is (Q)our stronghold. Selah.
8Come, (R)behold the works of the LORD,
Who has wrought (S)desolations in the earth.
9He (T)makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He (U)breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He (V)burns the chariots with fire.
10″Cease striving and (W)know that I am God;
I will be (X)exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
11The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.

Love you dear friend, I know you know God’s heart, it’s breaking too. I pray He would rescue them. And that the people of Japan would cry out to Him.

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Jodi March 15, 2011 - 1:49 pm

Beautifully said. It’s heartbreaking…also praying for Japan. Thanks so much for stopping by Green Acres yesterday and commenting. Hope you’ll stop by again soon!

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Kris March 15, 2011 - 2:09 pm

I share your feelings about seeing the footage of Japan. It is so gut wrenching.

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Janet March 15, 2011 - 2:24 pm

I am feeling the same way you feel. My heart is just breaking. I wrote a list of thankfuls earlier this morning too. And I am praying for all those in Japan.

Blessings
Janet

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Kelli March 15, 2011 - 3:31 pm

During these times we have to be willing to remember that God is in ultimate control…even over such disaster. I pray those people come to Christ and for their safety and comfort in Him.

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Natalieh March 15, 2011 - 4:32 pm

Amein, sweet sister. I don’t have a TV in my home, yesterday while at the gym I caught a couple of glimpses of what has been showing on the news. It was HORRIBLE. My eyes filled with tears while on the treadmill. My heart broke, and I drove home in a daze thinking “whyyyy, Father?” So many lives lost, just praying over and over that many will turn to Him because of this. Knowing that He has His reasons for allowing such, and that, He is still in control.

Yes, we should thank Him each day for the gift of another breath, another precious day that can be lived for Him.

Thank you for your post. You have a beautiful heart. Blessings to you.

Love,
Nat

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carissa @ lowercase letters March 16, 2011 - 1:00 am

I’ve been praying Isaiah 61:3 for Japan… That the people would find hope in Christ. Since so many have lost everything, I pray that they truly find Jesus so He can be their everything! You’re right, the images are so heart-wrenching.

P.s.- did you find out about your friend?

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Lori March 16, 2011 - 1:07 am

It IS devastating and really hard to watch, I agree with you. They need loads of prayers and thoughts and I’m glad there are people like you in the world!

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BARBIE March 16, 2011 - 5:51 am

I can barely bring myself to watch the news unfold. Tonight we prayed for Japan in our intercession set at the House of Prayer. My heart just breaks.

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Stefanie Brown March 17, 2011 - 2:08 am

Thank you for sharing your heart. Watching the devastation can surely be suffocating. I appreciate you reminding us of more to call out those things for which we are thankful! May we not take them for granted.
Blessings…

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