And the world didn’t end.
Sure the laundry didn’t get done. Or the floor washed. Or the emails that I needed sent. Or the windows washed. Leaves raked. Garbage taken out.
But, honestly, it didn’t fall apart.
I know, how silly to write about a nap.
But, again, I’m writing about it.
Because taking time for me to recharge really didn’t change the to-do list or add extra work or make things worse or any of that – it just made me feel better.
Sometimes we can live in this world of martyr as a mom – no, I’m fine, it doesn’t matter, who needs sleep?, I don’t care and all of that permeate our words. And then there’s the guilt – guilt over all of the other stuff that we think we should be doing in that moment.
What if in that moment we should be taking care of us?
Have you thought about that?
I know you’re tired. I know there is overwhelm. And I really know how life isn’t perfect. Just tonight I went to parent/teacher conferences alone. But, unlike last year where I had this weird angst and shame about my spot in life, this year I went in ready to enjoy and learn about my kids.
I had fun.
And maybe, maybe it’s because I decided that I would do something for me.
Which was a nap and a caramel macchiato.
But, as we have all been working on here – sometimes we just need to get to that place in life where we give ourselves permission to be human and to not have everything together. Yes, not everything perfect. But to realize that there are some nights where potato salad and rotisserie chicken from deli means that you win (ahem, my night). You win because you did what you needed to do. Your kids were fed, you had a moment to breathe and it kept things going.
Keeping things going is kind of the path of motherhood.
But keeping things going when we deny ourselves will result in bitterness, burnout and that loss of happy. And as over a million moms have decided and read I Forgot How to Be the Happy Mom there is a whole bunch of us looking for happy to return.
So I will challenge you again.
I will challenge you to look at your life right now and to identify all the reasons that you give to yourself to put you on the back burner. No time, money, help, support, space and even no idea what makes you happy anymore. I get it. I get it and that’s why I’ve been on a quest for us to all begin to reclaim us again in motherhood. So when you figure out one of those reasons why it won’t work I want you to think of three reasons why it will work and why you are worth it.
In fact, in fact I want you to write down on a piece of paper something about you that is awesome.
I am awesome because I laugh at my kids knock knock jokes. I am awesome because I have the neatest van in the world (triple gold stars to you). I am awesome because I love my kids and read an extra book.
I don’t care what it is.
But start to see the wonder and the power of you.
And give yourself not only permission but a oh yeah I’m worth it for those nap moments in life.
Fighting for you and your heart and your needs (sleep is a need, dear moms) doesn’t mean the world will fall apart. It just might make your world a whole bunch better and that happy part that so many of us long for might start to return.
In fact, as I see day after day after day on our Finding Joy Moms Group – happy can return. But it cannot when we turn away from ourselves. It simply cannot. So please, you, the mom hanging on to a thread of hope remember this:
You are worth it.
You are awesome.
And oh yes, you are worth a nap.