Seriously? Why did you boys make that mess? Now I have to clean and rewash the floor that I just spent the morning cleaning. And the mud on your shoes? Those are your good shoes. What in the world were you thinking? Honestly.
That’s what I told my three boys after they made this gigantic fort in the backyard.
I didn’t praise them for playing outside without media. I didn’t join in their happiness over gathering sticks and brush from the wood. I didn’t notice the rosy cheeks or the excitement. I didn’t even see that they were getting along.
That, alone, my sweet friends, is a minor miracle.
Instead, I saw the worst.
The mud, not the boys.
The mess, not the creativity.
The clean up, not the childhood.
It was about me, not them.
And I decided to change.
I stood in my once cleaned kitchen thinking does this really matter? Does it really matter that there’s mud on the floor? Does it really matter? And then I thought of all of my friends who have lost children or whose kids are going through cancer treatments. And I realized that the mud on the floor that I saw as negative would have been a blessing. Wanted.
So I knew I needed then to change.
To replace the worst, the mud, with happiness.
Happiness for time spent playing and being kids. Happiness for the gift to be a mom. Happiness, yes, happiness, that I had the SPACE AND FREEDOM to actually get to deal with cleaning up mud.
Maybe mud was the gift.
I just forgot to see it, I guess.
I got so caught up in the worst thinking that I missed the happiness.
So now, now happiness is my target. Instead of going to the worst I’m retraining my brain to be happy first. To see the good. And just like a muscle that is out of shape, sadly my happiness muscle needs exercise. To smile before complaining. To hug just a bit longer before going to the next thing.
All of that.
So sweet mom, work to see you and your response. And maybe dare to join me in not seeing the worst.
But finding happiness instead.