Doesn’t look perfect. Doesn’t have the Hallmark days. Doesn’t match the expectations.
In fact, today has already been one of those sometimes motherhood days.
I didn’t get much sleep. Make that hardly any sleep. I over slept then which put me behind for the morning. And then this morning was the morning of meltdowns – over seams in socks and too puffy of winter coats and not wanting to get buckled and not liking breakfast – and by the time I got home from the school run I was already feel the annoyance of having one of those sometimes days.
I really want it to be a good day. I always wake up that way – thinking to be good and awesome and creative. And I always wish for a ton of patience and love for my kids. But then there are some days that are just, well, days that I just need to get through.
Sometimes motherhood days are days that simply get checked off for being done.
Neither good nor bad nor awesome nor great nor anything, but just one of those days filled with the gamut of emotions and expectations and out of the blue frustrations.
Sometimes we just need to be us.
To accept the day. To accept that there are crazy moments in the day and to let go of some of the expectations that pollute us as moms. We’re told to do this and be that and to wear this and to never lose our cool. And honestly, I don’t know about you, but when it’s 32 degrees with a windchill in the teens it seems ridiculous to be having a meltdown over a coat, but that’s what happened. And even though I said with frustration this is so ridiculous it didn’t seem to solve that moment.
What if instead of attempting to have great days or awesome days or unbelievable days or even days where we’re crabby we just let ourselves live? And do our best.
Sometimes we need to remember that we are human.
Not superhuman. But human. Women with emotions who have moments where they are brilliant and can solve the winter coat issue and moments like me where we’re left carrying our stubborn six year old to the car without the coat on but rather in hand and then working to put the coat on in the school parking lot. And then being the mom with the crying six year old in school as you remove the inner liner hoping to alleviate this coat stress the whole time knowing you are late. And then getting super frustrated when we get back to the van because we spilled coffee in that time of coat debate (at least the van now smells like Starbucks). And then driving back with tears because of a coat incident with the little one we love so very much.
We just can’t be perfect. And we just can’t put ridiculous expectations on ourselves.
Sometimes we just honestly have to mother.
And sometimes that means having it all together and doing the cool notes in the lunch box and sometimes it means just getting lunch packed and finding stuff to put in there when the cupboards are bare. Sometimes it means going through six pairs of socks with your six year old hoping to find the one with the seams that don’t bug and sometimes it means just putting on the socks, putting on the shoes and rushing out of the house.
Sometimes it means reading the extra books and night and other times not reading at all. Sometimes it means having all the answers for every why question that is thrown your way and other times it is simply being okay with saying no more questions you are driving me crazy. And then it’s not getting too hard on yourself for saying that because honestly, in that moment, you were pushed to your limit of encyclopedia why questions crazy.
So today, today I’m giving you permission or grace or whatever you want to call it to just be. To just mother. Without all the right answers and with moments where you get frustrated and with moments when you are awesome and with moments where tears might cloud your eyes and with moments of just normal. And I want you to do it without expectations on your shoulders. To just be free to have a day.
Sometimes motherhood is simply a normal unedited doing your best mothering day.
To not compare it to mine or the mom in front of you in the pick up line at school. To not worry that your kids are going to never get into college because they messed up the spelling test again. To be okay with the boxed macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets you served for dinner. To not be so hard on yourself if you find yourself worrying about stuff because sometimes that’s just what we do as moms. To look in the mirror at the end of the day and to think well, that was a day, and thank goodness for tomorrow.
What if you could just do that?
Sometimes motherhood means to simply do your best.
Without being hard on yourself. Without comparing. Without as much worry.
Sometimes a motherhood day is just simply being you with all the flaws and awesome mixed.
With all of your idiosyncrasies, crazy things, great moments, not so great moments and you giving of yourself for your family. Your giving won’t look like mine and it won’t look like anyone else’s reading this post. It will be you. Yours. A day.
Sometimes, I think, you will celebrate and remember the normal sometimes days. Life is a collection of days strung together – and so many of them are just days – not extraordinary not perfect not horrible – just days that we get through. Like probably today is. So celebrate that, the normal, sometimes motherhood day.
Sometimes that, my friends, is what life is about.
There’s a reason the behind the scenes pictures are loved. There’s a reason we celebrate the underdog. There’s a a reason the messes are beautiful. It’s in the unedited places of life where we learn how strong we are and how much we love our kids and how we just need to breathe and find happy and how sometimes that isn’t found in perfection but rather in ordinary.
Sometimes motherhood doesn’t look perfect and that’s okay.
So today, hold your head high, and embrace your sometimes motherhood day.
And if you deal with a coat issue – always remove the liner if it’s too puffy. Not sure why it took me twenty minutes to realize this, but when I did I felt brilliant.
Off to get more coffee….