So, I’m going to be totally real.
This might seem silly, but today, after I had my hair cut and colored I booked a follow up visit. My stylist and I have become good friends (as it should be – holy moly – those that touch the hair should be trusted) and we joked about the next time I came. She then told me she had another client coming that was going to “embrace the gray” because she decided to stop fighting it but simply go there.
I said, “I’m mentally not there yet.”
Like no joke.
It’s not like there aren’t grays appearing. It’s not like I’m irritated about them either. After all I am 43 years old (ha, just told you all that) and have been through enough stress that I’m surprised there aren’t more.
But, seriously, my sister friends, I’m just not ready to let them all go yet.
Is it vanity? Is it fear? Is it just normal?
It doesn’t matter. This is why.
I have friends that have embraced the gray and rock it. I think it’s awesome. I have other friends who are like me and love our hair stylists because they know about the gray and paint it a new color. I think it’s awesome.
I don’t fear getting older. I actually am grateful for the years. So many of us don’t get the years. So I’m grateful.
But the gray?
I have read articles about embracing the gray and being who we are made to be and so forth. And I get it. But, friends, I also realize in this day and age (and probably before) I have this choice and that choice means spending a morning with a dear friend while she covers a couple new grays and cuts my hair and makes me feel good. And I didn’t even realize that “embracing the gray” and “covering the gray” was a new place of debate and conversation until the day I saw those new grays.
Listen. We all get to choose. And that’s what is awesome.
It’s not the outside, really.
It’s the inside.
And for now, for now I’m just going to love where I am in the moment. And in this moment, I love the hair color. And recognize that I’m not ready to turn the page, but not out of fear, but out of choice. Because there will come a day when there aren’t just a few pesky strands up there but more than we can manage. Or a day when I’m ready to embrace it.
And that day isn’t today.
So to all of you – I love you if you are gray and I love you if you are not. I love you for being you and taking care of your heart. Because in the end, making sure your heart is happy is so so so so so important. It doesn’t matter what others tell you. If they think you’re avoiding gray or you’re awesome for diving in. What matters is your heart.
Keep your heart happy.
One day I’ll fully embrace the gray.
But not today.
and ps. I know why celebrities hair always looks good — my hairstylist — she is amazing. If she did my hair every day it would be awesome. No matter how hard I try it NEVER looks like she did it. Never.
I can never get my hair to look as good as it did when I walked out of the salon. Ugh. I have this silly daydream, that someday, if we’re ever rolling in it, that I’m going to pay my favorite stylist to do my hair every morning… 🙂
You are looking as beautiful as ever, my sweet friend!!
And I’m not ready to embrace the gray yet either 😉
I’m so relieved to hear someone else (a fellow 43-year-old I might add) shares this sentiment!
I’m not ready to do grey either! My grandmother rocked her auburn-dyed hair until she was 72 (then she rocked white until she died at the age of 98). I have a feeling I’ll be following in her footsteps… boxed color until I’m at least 65! LOL
Thanks for sharing!
PS – I can never get my hair looking as good as the day I walked out of the salon. I think my eyes glaze over when she says how “easy” it will be to replicate the look (lady, you lost me at the round brush)! LOL
You are the best! It’s so good to know one is not alone. 🙂
Thanks Susan x
I think everyone should do what they want with their hair, but we can’t pretend that all choices are even, either.
“I didn’t even realize that “embracing the gray” and “covering the gray” was a new place of debate and conversation until the day I saw those new grays…” That’s because it still is really not OK with most people for women in their 40s and beyond to simply wear their own natural hair color. Why is it “brave” to do…. nothing about the change? It’s considered “brave” because there is a social stigma and a potential social cost. “Letting it be” is seen by most people, still, as “letting yourself go…” We have no idea what women look like without hair color and makeup, so those of us who don’t color stand out as unusual, a little subversive, and either “brave” or “lazy” or “hippie” or, well, something.
My gray hair isn’t a statement about what anyone else should do with theirs. This is just what I look like. So, if I’m “embracing” something I guess, so are you! You’re not “fighting the gray”, you’re embracing blond. Or whatever. If my hair color is an enemy, to be fought until “there are too many”, can’t you see how that’s pretty divisive?
I waited another 20 years!