Insights. About aging. Friends. And random stuff.
1. I used to describe myself as an extrovert. But, now, as I get older I find myself needing just a bit of “quiet” during the day. Then that reminds me of my mother (who is great) and then it makes me think, “I’m becoming my mother.” And then that reminds me of my grandmother who needed just a bit of “quiet” every day. Then all of that makes me freak out and I actually think, “Am I really that old now?”
2. The other day my husband and I walked on our deck and he was feeding the birds and I was watering plants. All of that further solidified my question in point one. Also, in case my mother is reading this, it would be an honor to be considered like her – she truly has the patience of a saint AND she was a goal-getter. You know those working women of the 80s who broke the mold? My mom was one of them.
3. To further solidify the truth about aging – I don’t get most of the memes my kids show me. I just smile, nod, and they say, “you don’t get it, do you?” And I tell them, “Nope.” But bless them, they still try. Or maybe they’re trying to actually see if they can find the one that I ACTUALLY get. So I show them memes about the show Friends or Seinfeld. Then they tell me that technically those aren’t actually memes.
4. I’m horrible at texting and messenger. My friends send me notes. I see them, then forget to respond. And then it becomes awkward because I haven’t responded and I should have responded. Then they call. Or I call. And then, there I am, the friend who tries, but just is horrible at messaging. I still love them. I’m trying. I’ll get better. But sometimes, get this, my inbox is giant.
5. I have certain people in my life who I know are LONG texters. They are wonderful, great, and valuable. That being said, I also know that if I engage in a text conversation with them it will not be short. It will be LONG. And it will involve a creative exit. Again, I love them. I just am, again, really bad at texting.
6. I buy clothes that are fun. They are colorful. I have good intentions. And then when it is time to get dressed I choose one of probably six pairs of black yoga leggings, capri length, to wear. And a teeshirt and maybe a jacket. I mix it up with the jacket color. If I come down wearing jeans my husband is like, “wow! You look great!” And then I still wear the yoga pants. My kids, if I’m wearing something different, either ask me if I’m going out or have a zoom call.
7. I have my grocery store memorized in my head. And the price of bananas per pound at all stores. Except for Target which sells them by the banana.
8. I cry at strange things. The sunrise. Family watching a movie. Survival shows where the cast calls their families. I also cry when my adult kids leave the house. They all know it. When they come to visit they often tell me on the way to the airport that they are prepared for my tears. I tell them how I can’t help it and they tell me they love that about me.
9. I’m a busy person. But sometimes I use busy to avoid doing the things I should be doing. In fact, if you come over and you see me showing off my alphabetized spices or pantry or a bag of weeds I picked from the yard please know I’m probably avoiding writing and email (or looking at texts because I’m overwhelmed). So that being said, I’ve learned to look at my busy and wonder if there is something I’m avoiding instead. We do have a rather weed-free yard. Just saying.
10. My kids clean the house as a present for me. And I love them even more. They’ve learned that is my love language. The fact that they know this is my love language makes me love them even more. I tell them I have infinity love for them.
11. I love brilliant writing. As a writer, I guess that makes sense. But, my goodness, I love a good movie, book, or podcast. And, as always, would love recommendations.
12. Coffee is a fave. My one daughter worked for over three years at Starbucks and it was a gift. Plus I now think that I’m a bit more knowledgeable about the difference between drinks and what is good ordering etiquette. Beyond that she told me how grateful she was for kind people and for patience. We are all human, and truly the greatest gift is the gift of kindness❤
13. I love people. I want us to love each other. I believe in people. I believe in you. I believe in our dreams and our hopes and how we are stronger when we are united. I believe in speaking up and helping out. I believe in community. That’s why I write. Or at least one of the reasons.
14. I’ve discovered kids grow fast and yet there are some days where it is exceptionally slow. I have memories where time seemed to feel like it was moving backward and then there are moments where I am wondering, “how in the world is my oldest going to turn 25 in June?” And that, that, my friends, makes me realize that despite feeling super young at heart that I’m not really that young anymore. And you know what? That’s okay. I’m grateful for each trip around the sun, each breath, each day.
15. I’m grateful for each of you.
ps. oh yes, and black and white pictures are my absolute favorite. #findingjoy
And one last thing – I now realize that I am an extroverted introvert. Which is perfectly perfect for me.