Our school district announced plans for the fall. There really isn’t a solid plan, just scenarios, just possibilities, just waiting. The final plan won’t come until mid-July and school starts in August. This pandemic has taught me something powerful – about the wait – that I can live vibrantly in the unknown.
I realized you can’t just live life on hold waiting.
I did that in March and April.
The wait. The holding of breath, the wondering what to do, the worry, the pause.
And while there was this deep learning, this letting go of normal and this appreciation for what is right in front of me, there was also this hollowness, this space where I realized my heart was on hold in the wait.
Waiting is like treading water and expending all this energy and being so tired and yet going nowhere.
You see, it would be easy for me to live in the wait and do nothing – to think, “when this is over THEN I will get to that stuff.” But waiting until the then means I lose all these days and this time.
We have this time. Now.
Truthfully, I have no idea what the fall will look like. I don’t know if my kids will be home, will go to school part-time, or it will look like the old normal. And I’ve gotten to the point where that is okay.
Somehow the pandemic taught me to be okay with not knowing the plans all the time. And in not knowing the plans it has showed me how important it is to live fully today.
Living fully means deciding to not just tread water, but daring to move again.
To laugh.
To speak up.
To be brave.
To tell those I love how much I love them.
To work on myself.
To challenge myself.
To have goals.
To give back.
To share.
To be kind.
To be a voice.
To examine my heart.
To love.
So friends, today, today even if you are in the wait, my challenge to you is to dare to move. Dare to live with the vibrancy of the moment. To realize that these days, this day, has a great meaning.
You have now. There is wonder and good in the now.
This moment.
No more waiting.
~Rachel
Finding Joy
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2 comments
I learned a lot during this time. How to stand up for my kids and I even taught them to be part of the process and we did our first protest together my 3 daughters and I. I personally just finished the worse detox of my life getting off zoloft right before all this happened. OCD and anxiety run strong in both side of our family. I could have completely regressed. I finally got what I always wanted told we can be around people lol. But I took that and we turned it as a family. Don’t get me wrong my 8yr and I cried almost everyda we did crisis learning from home. Be cause she too had just overcome all the stomach aches and anxiety from her sensory processing disorder and OCD. Today was her last zoom call and although she has work for 3 more days we are done. We are ready to take on the challenge of whatever 3 different school schedules bring, for what new issue makes us reflect onto ourselves and question what we believe and who we are. Thank you for writing this.
Sending you love. You are brave and strong.
Rachel