the bobby pin that broke...

…the momma’s back.

Well, not really, but almost. (and between us…this post almost threw me over the edge…I went to hit publish and literally the entire thing vanished. So this is round 2. I am determined.)

You know those days? Those days when you need a blogger to be real and transparent about how life isn’t perfect? Well, I had one of those days. It was a day where I wanted to pull every single hair off of my head…by noon. It was a day where the littlest thing seemed to push me over the edge.

You see we give our kids off the day for their birthday. It’s kind of a way to honor them. It’s relaxing, they can play, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. Yet, it has it’s drawbacks. The normal routine is out the window, and typically by the end of the day our moods are, well, shall we say fraying a bit? Except that this day…it happened much earlier.

This wouldn’t be so bad, except that yesterday, when I was in the need to get the lawn together mood…see my husband’s comment “we’re growing kids…not grass.”…I decided it was time for the season’s first application of weed and feed fertilizer. That’s great! Green grass! No weeds!

No kids on the Apparently yesterday I didn’t equate the consequences of having a birthday day off and not allowing my young, active, and loveable boys access to our yard. Our greening yard, I might add.

So the day progressively got a bit more tense. Chaos was beginning to take over, along with the words, “it’s not fair,” being shouted from various corners of my residence. I tried to read. Fail. I tried to play a game with them. Fail. I tried projects. Fail. Putting them down for a nap. Fail. I needed to get my mood back on track. Ok. Organizing and getting rid of a laundry basket of toys. Fail. The fighting continued. The grumbling. The sneaking of food. Spilling of raisin bran over the kitchen floor that had already been swept six times today. I was going a bit crazy.

So I pack them up to take Gracie to ballet. (Grace’s little bun was so quickly put together, with little hairs poking out…mirroring my day.) Now, while we may cut back on our home birthday day obligations, I do keep all outside commitments. So we started on our way. And, I am not joking, within a block of my home massive LOUD yelling began in the Suburban. Screaming. Crying. Pleading. Over what?

A bobby pin.

My husband heard the noise via my cell phone and told me to pull over and stop until it stopped. So I did. I drove that suburban right into the Dairy Queen parking lot. And we sat there. The poor patrons must have had quite a sight when they saw that Suburban full of kids with yelling pouring from the creases. Then Grace looked at the clock, saw that it was 5:37, realized that she would be late and got quiet. I asked them if they were done and they both replied, “yes.” Then I asked them why they were fighting over a bobby pin and Brennan (my six year old) replied

Well, Grace said she needed it for her hair, and I needed it as a tiny sword.

Sigh. All that noise and tension for a 4 cents metal object?

OK. Truth. I pulled out of the Dairy Queen parking lot and continued to ballet. I thought. I calmed down. And I prayed. And I began to gain a bit of perspective. You see…I had been doing the entire day on my own strength. It was just me. It was me who decorated, who wrapped the presents, who cooked, who cleaned, who did yard work, who called the doctor, etc… and I was getting a little bit resentful. Well, it became all about ME. Me, me, me. And that, quite obviously, just does NOT work. At all. It became a day of relying on my own strength. And trust me, with my allergies, and a six month-old baby there isn’t much extra energy tucked in there.

I never stopped to listen. To pray. To give my day to the Lord. I just plowed right into it thinking I could do it. And I couldn’t. I wanted to throw in the towel at lunch time. And when you’re a mom you really can’t throw in the towel. So I became frustrated. And crabby. And looking for solutions to soothe my grumbling self. It wasn’t until I surrendered that I began to see the truth. The truth that I needed to stop focusing on me, and focus on HIM. Only then did I begin to see and feel the joy again.

We picked up some pizza for Grace and a little cake while she was at dance. I kept the kids with me in the truck and the littles fell asleep. Brennan listened to some Greek Mythology cds with Chloe. And I rested. Later, when Grace was home I took her sweet face in my hands and told her how blessed I am to be her mom, and how much she means to me, and how honored I am to walk this road of life with her. Then we ate pizza, and played her new game. We laughed. I even took Elijah out of his bed so that he could eat birthday cake with us when Dad got home. And you know what? It was good. It was really good. When I try to carry the loads of life – mom, wife, bills, house, yard, school, errands,etc…- all by myself I’ll fail. When I live with Jesus by my side, with Him giving me strength…then I win. Bobby pin or not.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12b-13

Rachel Marie Martin

Rachel Marie Martin is the author behind Finding Joy and the books, "Get Your Spark Back," "Mom Enough," and "The Brave Art of Motherhood." She is fiercely passionate about living an authentic, joy-filled and driven life and because of that writes powerful truth for others hoping to be the catalyst for change.

18 comments

Lynn April 13, 2010 - 5:20 am

Was wondering how the bobby pins were going to fit in…always learn something new when I come here!
Know that I’m here praying!
Psalm 130:1-4: Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Amy @ Raising Arrows April 13, 2010 - 5:34 am

Rachel,
I’ve been so out of the loop I didn’t realize you were here on this beautiful blog! I love it!

Your very unobservant and self-absorbed friend,
Amy

lambechops April 13, 2010 - 10:09 am

What a wonderful post! It so easy to become so stressed about the day to day things without stopping to hand the day over to God. I know I’m guilty of that more often than I want to admit. Thank you for this.

JessieLeigh April 13, 2010 - 2:42 pm

What an absolutely beautiful post and a wonderful reminder for all of us… and may I just tip my hat to you for re-writing the whole darn thing. That had to be beyond frustrating… I’ve had that happen before and I end up spittin’ mad! 😉

Andrea April 13, 2010 - 3:06 pm

We learn many spiritual lessons as we raise our children…it is easy to get stressed and each time through my life GOD used it to grow me closer to him. I have one of five left at home. I can hardly believe I am at this point. There were times I wasn’t sure I would live through it and no my kids are not horrible..it is just normal obstacles that each of us face. I stand here in amazement and praising HIM for how far the kids and I have come….HE is truly amazing!
Hugs, andrea

Lindsay April 13, 2010 - 3:51 pm

So, Im a big dork and this post brought tears to my eyes. THIS is exactly what the Lord has been teaching me lately. I cant do it, but HE can. THanks for sharing your day that I can soooo relate to!

Stephanie April 13, 2010 - 4:44 pm

Thanks for sharing! I think we all have these days where we want to just give in, but the Lord is the ONLY thing that will keep us going 🙂

Pam Ponder April 13, 2010 - 5:28 pm

I know days like this…thanks for sharing!!!

Bekah April 13, 2010 - 7:03 pm

My dear Rachel, WONDERFUL post. You have the most incredible posts–have I ever told you that Hannah inherited all her writing skills from you? Hm. I think I have.

Anyways–I love your posts.

Tell Gracie happy birthday for me, and give Hannah a hug (tell her she’ll be the first person I call with my phone [if it will EVER come in the mail], although I only have 200 minutes a month. It was either unlimited texting or minutes, and I chose texting.)-

Bekah

Lindy April 13, 2010 - 7:05 pm

what a tough day, but a truthful article. thank you!

Lynnette Kraft April 13, 2010 - 9:02 pm

Oh Rachel, I love honesty. Being real is so … so… refreshing! Don’t we all have moments or days like that? Well, I do!

Sounds like you ended on a good note and that is the important thing right? 🙂

Love,
Lynnette

Lynnette Kraft April 13, 2010 - 9:02 pm

This comment has been removed by the author.

Amelia@MyTwoRedheads April 13, 2010 - 9:49 pm

This sounds like a day in my life! Things are always so much easier with God’s help!

Thanks for visiting my blog today!

carissa @ lowercase letters April 14, 2010 - 12:44 am

i just can’t get over brennan’s need for the bobby pin to serve as his tiny sword. bahaha! at least there’s some comic relief in the midst of stressful days like this.

Lynn April 14, 2010 - 6:46 am

The passage today is a little different. But the way I look at it, life itself is a battle and the Lord doesn’t change. He was with the Israelites as they headed into the Promised Land, and He’s with you, helping you and giving you strength to face whatever lies ahead. Always here praying!
Deuteronomy 20:1-4: When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. And it shall be, when ye are come nigh unto the battle, that the priest shall approach and speak unto the people, And shall say unto them, Hear, O Israel, ye approach this day unto battle against your enemies: let not your hearts faint, fear not, and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them; For the LORD your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Grace Wheeler April 14, 2010 - 1:21 pm

I have quit the day ahead of me with babysitting a friends kids…so it was perfect that I read this this morning…it’s easy for me to go about my day and it’s all about *me* and my strength, wisdom, etc.

So thanks for giving me fresh perspective that I need to call on the Lord throughout this day…and every day!

Grace Wheeler April 14, 2010 - 1:21 pm

Edit: *quite* the day ahead of me… lol! No, I’m not quitting before the day has even started!!!

Tara Anderson April 17, 2010 - 1:18 pm

I love your transparency! I have days like that, too…and you are right, it’s all when I’m trying to do it in my OWN power. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

the bobby pin that broke…

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