a “so blessed” pause

So maybe this isn’t cool to say or write about. But I’m going to. Because I want to be a voice or truth and perspective and maybe this just might be it…

I’m so seriously blessed.

That’s what I heard. What I saw was the twinge of sadness in her eyes. Just for a second, but it was there. And then, then it was a smile, a small brave one, but deep down there was doubt.

I know.

Because that was me.

Me with a life that was crumbling, with prayers sent over and over, wondering why I never seemed to be able to say the so blessed words.

I felt like I missed out.

I think somehow culture has taken the word blessed and associated it with having this awesome perfect ducks in a row never mess up normal life.  It’s like there is a ladder. A ladder of what makes someone state the words I’m so blessed for all the world to hear.

What about the deeper impact of those words?

Now before I go on know that I want us to be grateful for our lives. I want us to live very aware of the gifts and the good things and the moments we are blessed to share with others. I want us to express our gratitude and to live with a posture of our hearts being thankful.

But I also want us to be very very aware of the phrase so seriously blessed because there might be someone else listening, watching, and observing where those words hurt.

I know they’re not meant to hurt. I get that. I know the words are there to express gratitude and joy over good things in another life. And even though I know there should be a pause there are times where I find myself throwing those words out there like glitter in the wind unaware of where they’ll land.

But the idea that when good things are there it makes one seriously blessed?

What about the single mom working three jobs trying to get food on her table?

What about the couple going through infertility?

What about the women in Haiti that I saw with barely enough food who worked from sun up to sun down?

What about the mom holding a hand of her child in the hospital?

What about the divorced family?

What about those trying so hard and yet dealing with finances that are crippling?

Are they missing out on being seriously blessed?

The thing with the phrase seriously blessed is that it is exclusive. Life is great for me and thus therefore I am blessed. But, in some ways, it seems to imply that those who aren’t having the idyllic life are missing out on being blessed. What about switching it to simply being thankful for the blessings in your life. That is so different. That is seeing the awesome that one has and recognizing the beauty of that gift. To be so blessed means that outer forces are giving you great things but to be grateful means to be thankful for the blessings in life.

Don’t see this as bitter.

See it maybe as aware. Words are so so powerful. And I know, I remember how it felt to sit at a table of friends hearing about how everyone was so blessed and wondering why in the world my life was a mess. It felt lonely. I remember wondering why I didn’t qualify to be blessed. Like what I was doing wrong to keep having the hardships. I was glad for my friends, but in some ways, feeling left out on the blessed world of amazing.

So I say – celebrate the blessings in life. Be grateful. Be happy for each other. Love the good stuff.

But pause, just for a moment, before just labeling it as blessed.

Because for many many many they work love give and life is still hard.

So be grateful for the good. Remember the labels. See those around you.

Pause.

That’s what I want us to do. Pause, just for a second, and be aware of others. Be the friend that celebrates the joys and be the friend compassionate for the hard things.

Empathy. Compassion.

Love.

I am so grateful for all of you.

~Rachel

ps. Thanks for letting me share about this. I’ve had this in drafts for almost six months. Finally I had the courage to hit publish.