why i won’t be snarky about my kids

How’s that for a title?

But it’s true.

I won’t be snarky about my kids behind their backs. I just won’t. And honestly, I’m just going to put myself out there and encourage you to not either. Now listen, listen, listen…this doesn’t mean that we can’t discuss our kids or talk about the bad days or how they’re driving us crazy at times. Because, honestly, unless you have the perfect child from the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book it just doesn’t happen. I’ve tried for twenty years and yet there is still unbelievably crazy stressful trying and are you kidding me? days.

But, back to this snarky thing.

I just won’t talk poorly about them with others. Especially publicly.

I won’t. I mean look at that face. He loves me, his mom. He trusts me.

He deserves me guarding that gift.


Truthfully? I don’t think it’s fair and I really don’t think it adds to our lives – and certainly not our kids lives. I won’t call my kids brats or stupid or all the things that sometimes I read. Now, listen, I’m not judging, but I’m sharing. We all can make our choices about what we say about our kids, but I also know that what we say kind of is a guide to how we treat people. And I’ve learned in life that I want to operate out of kindness. And I want my kids to trust me to speak well of them with others.

Kids deserve respect.

They deserve us loving them and the knowledge that we’re not calling them brats behind their backs. They can do bratty things, but that does not make them as a person that name. To me, there’s such a difference between talking about parenting and the struggles and simply cutting them down. I love them too much to cut them down, friends.

I don’t even know what compelled me to write this. Maybe, just maybe I’ve seen one too many updates with cutting words about the kids. And holy moly, if it was written about me to my friends by someone I trusted I wouldn’t like it. I’d be hurt. I think we have this cool gift as moms – to be the one person in life that our kids know will stand up for them and will beyond that like them. Yes, like them.

We love them, but liking them? That’s a cool thing.

Guard that gift of being a mom.

That liking? That’s kind of a trust thing – they trust us to be the one’s who speak well of them.


They look up to us.

So with that, I don’t want to be the mom who’s talking poorly about the kids. Do you know why? I want others to think well of them too. And it starts with me.

Bad days can happen. Kids can frustrate us.

But we can love them.

With our words.


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8 Responses to “why i won’t be snarky about my kids”

  1. June 8, 2016

    Jane Allen Reply

    Just like you said, I want “to be the one person in life that our kids know will stand up for them and will beyond that like them. Yes, like them.”

    I also want to be kind to my kids because I know they deserve my respect and trust me without reservation. Thanks for sharing. Your thoughts made sense to me.

  2. June 8, 2016

    Em Reply

    My mom did that and we have always been close!!! Great job Mama!!!

  3. June 8, 2016

    Corinne Reply

    I support your view because kids, as well as adults receive too much criticism nowadays and as parents and compassionate beings we should always encourage, not speak negatively about our kids. There remains the consistent goal of setting a strong and loving standard of behavior in all we do =)

  4. June 10, 2016

    Gianna Reply

    I love this post. It reminded me that my kids are incredible. Absolutely incredible and I should not use my energy up in arguing with them, but in liking them as people.

  5. June 10, 2016

    Margaret Reply

    Thank you sooooooo much for this perspective. I never thought about my words,relationship/bond with them like this. Thank you!

  6. June 10, 2016

    Jeri Reply

    Oh, just wait until they’re teenagers!

  7. June 14, 2016

    Mitzi Reply

    I love this! I’ve NEVER understood why people GRIPE about what their children do/don’t do to others. Or complain that their teen doesn’t know how to do something… I know someone who does this and all I can think is “DID YOU TEACH THEM?!” My children are still in elementary, so I often hear “Just wait, you’ll get your turn, and I can’t wait.” Um… can you see into the future and know exactly what my kids will be doing?!
    I love my children and I truly LIKE them and spending time with them. A frustrating day is just that… it’s a day.
    Take yourself out of the parent/child role and consider it from the point of view of you and a peer. Encourage other Moms! Take responsibility for your child’s actions.

    — deep breath — stepping down now —

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