why i stopped defending my choices as a mom

For years I traveled for work.

For years I was met with this question isn’t it hard on your kids for you to be gone so much?

(For years my business partner, a male, was never met with that question.)

For years I defended me.

For years I forgot that being a mom means PROVIDING for our kids.

And sometimes it doesn’t look like the world of motherhood that has been conjured up in our minds, in media and in the world. It’s real.

So I started answering yeah, it’s hard on them. But they need to eat and I need to provide and I’m doing what I need to do because I love them. Yes, love them.

I’m not sure what it is about us moms and others that ask the questions about motherhood. From the how do you do it all? kind of questions to the looks that I get if I’m on my phone while sitting at the park to whatever. I took my kids to the park. I love them. I want them to have fun. And because I work at home I have the freedom to bring my work where we go. I’m not a bad mom – I’m a real mom – providing for those kids that love me.

We live in a world that sometimes seems to judge too quickly.

It’s a world perpetuated with judgements and unwritten rules – from birth to vaccines to school choice to pacifiers to activities to breastfeeding to whatever you want to think about there is some kind of rule made about it. And truthfully? There is no right choice.

None.

What about if we just cared more about loving each other more than the rules?

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What if instead of making presuppositions about working moms that we love them for who they are? What if we loved stay at home moms for who they are? Part time working moms? Moms who only eat organic? Moms who love McDonalds? Fit moms? Moms who homeschool? Send their kids to school? Are on the PTA? Hate the PTA? Do fancy birthday parties? Don’t do parties? Do you see?

What if we just love us?

As a whole.

As a group of women who are given the gift in this world to raise other human beings and to try to teach them to do the right thing?

Isn’t that enough?

So yes, I traveled. Yes, I once stayed home. Yes, I was once married. Yes, I once homeschooled.

But none of that matters.

What matters the most is that I love love my kids and try hard and don’t forget me in the journey and try to make a good impact in this life on this planet.

Don’t forget that.

You are wonderful for you.

Not all the other stuff you might get questioned about.

And if you ever feel yourself defending you.

Walk away.

~Rachel

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