These are the rules shared to me by my good friend and business partner Dan R Morris. Today I’m super thankful to share (with permission) his rules of dinner, which, by the way, are universal parenting laws of dinner. Because let me tell you. I totally totally get it. Enjoy. And feel free to share your rules of dinner as well. ~Rachel
If you don’t have kids, you probably didn’t know there were more than 30 rules you follow in order to eat dinner. These? These are the 36 rules.
1. Sit down
2. On your chair
3. All the way on your chair
4. No kicking
5. Don’t eat with your hands, unless it’s a sandwich or pizza
6. Use your fork
7. Don’t use your hands to put food on your fork
8. Don’t play with your food
9. Yes, that means don’t play with your fork even if it doesn’t have food on it.
10. How about just don’t play at dinner
11. Don’t steal food from other people’s plates
12. Don’t put food on other people’s plates
13. Just don’t get anywhere near other people’s plates
14. Don’t take all the tater tots
15. Excuse me, just take 3 – leaving one doesn’t mean you followed the rule
16. You can get up if you have to use the restroom
17. You can’t get up if you’re just trying to beat your brother to the rest room so he can’t go.
18. No taking food into the restroom
19. No taking food out of the restroom
20. Wash your hands before you come back to the table.
21. Use soap
22. Use the soap to wash your hands not smear the counter – then rinse the soap off. Then clean the counter, then dry your hands, then dry the counter, then put the towel back on the counter folded
23. Eat everything on your plate before you get seconds
24. Rule #12 again
25. You can’t have dessert if you don’t eat your meal
26. No you can’t substitute a jello cup for your veggies, I know they’re both green.
27. You must take you plate to the kitchen counter after dinner
28. Scrape the leftover food into the trash can before you put it on the counter.
29. Open the trash can first
30. Don’t try to balance the plate on a glass
31. Put it on the other counter if you can’t find room.
32. Do not put your plate on the floor
33. Do not put a cup on your plate so your brother has no place to put his plate.
34. Wipe any crumbs on your shirt into the trash can.
35. Do that before you go to bed
36. No, you can’t have more food 5 seconds after I put everything away. You should have eaten your dinner. And yes, the rules were quite clear.
-Dan, dad of 4
You can find Dan and all that he does here -> Blogging Concentrated, you can follow him on Instagram here Dan R Morris, and you can listen to both of us on the Amplify Podcast.
Are you looking for more encouragement? Make sure to read the 10 Things Happy Moms Don’t Do.
Oh yes – need one more laugh? This video of his little boy Alex is one of the best.
I think Dan has spied on us at dinner a time or two! But seriously, numbers 17 and 21 are constantly coming out of my mouth these days.
This post is hilarious! Oh man do I ever hear us in this 😀 And his little guy Alex, makes the SAME FACE our Ellie makes all the time! It’s so hilarious!
Thanks. They sure do learn how to get a laugh, don’t they?
Didn’t see it listed… so I’m going to share one or several of our own.
NO ANSWERING the Phone!!
No TV or radio playing…
Don’t wipe your mouth with your shirt… I mean, the inside of your shirt, just under your collar…seriously, NOT with your shirt. period!
Your shirt is not a napkin.
No fart jokes at the table.
Your pants are not a napkin.
No fart jokes at the table? These rules aren’t supposed to exclude dads. 🙂
In the immortal words of John Belushi… FOOD FIGHT!!!!
37. It’s at noon not 6.
That’s so interesting! I grew up with dinner being at night – I really think it totally depends on where one lives. 🙂
We added one when my son was little and constantly undressing. “Always wear underwear to dinner.” He is now 13 and his sister is 22 and they still think this rule is hilarious and bring it up every now and again.
We haven’t had that problem yet.
Get up from the bench before picking up your plate to carry it to the counter (or the other counter).
Hold onto your fork as you carry your plate.
We also have the underwear rule.
Don’t vacuum your food up with your mouth.
[…] although I have very few rules in my classroom. BUT…I loved Dan Morris’s “36 Rules of Dinner” featured on Finding Joy’s Website, and thought it would be fun to highlight a day in […]