I’m just not a “yes” mom. I wrote years and years ago about how I wanted to be that mom. It became like a notch on the mom ladder that I was determined to reach. I wanted to be the one that would say, “you want to make slime? Sure! That would be great! I will clean it all up. No problem! Don’t worry about the mess”
I’m not. I’m not. I hear about slime and the hair on my neck stands up and I want to look to see if there is wine in the fridge.
I don’t think I would have had the bravery to admit to you that silly little fact, except, well, I know most of you who deal with slime creators get it. Trust me, I wanted to be the “yes” mom. I wanted to sprinkle their world with an abundance of yes moments. I try. I really do, but I cannot live always saying yes. I cannot. My sanity cannot handle it all the time.
I cannot. I cannot do Elf on the Shelf. I cannot do the Tooth Fairy. I cannot volunteer all the time. I cannot do random slime creations. I cannot allow ultimate freedom. I cannot just drop everything. I cannot say “yes” to so much. I just cannot.
And I’m okay with that.
(that’s the PSA)
Because I am a better mom when I give myself the GRACE to say no.
Sometimes I just don’t want my kitchen looking like a lab experiment. I know it provides creativity, connection and so forth, but sometimes, I just like to see my counters. And I like having limits. I don’t care that my kids tell me that “my friend’s parents let them have this app” because well, these are my kids and I have decided that there is no way that app or game is coming in my house. I’m okay that I have never done Elf on the Shelf. I think all the parents that do are cool, but I have gotten to the point where I’m okay that we didn’t.
I’m okay with the power of yes and no. I think the social media driven world we live in makes us think, whether we realize it or not, that we have to DO EVERYTHING we see that everyone else does.
You just don’t.
You don’t have to do all those things. You don’t. All of that social media?
It’s the YES moment highlight reel of all of our lives. That part is awesome. However, and pay attention, It is not the to-do list for each of us. There is a difference between observing and cheering each other on and thinking we have to do everything everyone else is doing and then deciding that doing all of that makes us a better mom. We all get to pick and choose our YES moments. I think that is so easy to forget when we scroll down on our phones and see what everyone else is doing.
So I quit being the yes mom to the world’s list, and became a yes mom for my family’s list.
MOTHERING IS ENOUGH WITHOUT FEELING THE CONSTANT PRESSURE OF EVERYONE ELSE’S YES.
That was in all caps and bold so you can read it twice. Or pretend I am yelling it to you across the table at Starbucks.
You know what you need to say yes to? Yourself. Your heart. Balance.
Don’t say yes because of guilt or expectations. The most POWERful thing you can do is have your moments of crazy “YES” and crazy “NO WAY’s” and everything else? You could do it, you don’t have to do it, and it doesn’t have to define. You know what this gives you? Margin. Space. Time to mother. Time to love. Time to make slime (hahaha). Time to give.
Time to be.
Let’s say yes to that.
Okay? It’s okay, my friend, to not do everything. In fact, I can guarantee you right now, that saying no will be the most wonderful gift you can give your kids. You know why? Because you are mothering them. Not doing what is hypothetically expected. You are instead, being you, loving your family, and mothering.
Say yes to that and the rest will fall into place.