Yesterday I stood in the LEGO aisle for at least twenty minutes. I stood there and circled between the two rows and asked, “have you decided yet?” and found myself getting impatient because it was taking so long to spend the $40 of birthday money.
“How about this one?”
“You could get these two.”
“Have you figured it out yet?”
I could sense him get stressed as I got impatient. I’m sure it was easy to sense my stress with the sighs and questions and circling and wondering.
Friends, I forgot.
I forgot the pressure of wanting to make the best decision possible with money.
I forgot the looking and looking and looking.
I forgot the thrill of birthday money.
I forgot it all.
I looked at him crouched down there contemplating and thinking and wondering. And then I had a moment where I remembered how he told me moments before we left, “mom, I love going to Target because we get time together.”
Oh my heart, my heart.
So I told him, “Sam, how about ten more minutes and then have your decision made or save your money until next time.”
I could see his breath release.
I could see the pressure leave and the fun return.
I could see happiness return.
I’ve been working a great deal on my patience lately. I tend to be the rushing person in life. Rushing to the next steps, rushing to get finished through one thing, rushing at my own impatience.
But sometimes life teaches us patience in the little things so that we have patience in the big.
And when we show that we value our kids and their decision making we show them patience, trust and independence.
The funny thing is that moments after releasing my own pressure and giving him freedom he made his decision.
“I’ll get these two. They add up to the amount with room for tax.”
Isn’t that just like life?
The outside pressures stifle our decision making. Only when we give ourselves permission to breathe, to sit in the uncomfortable of the decision making, that often the truths about what we want or need to do become clear.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.