I’ve had a love/hate relationship with the daily to-do list, the schedule, and the lesson planners. I spend hours prepping and preparing, only to find myself falling short of filling in all the boxes. We’d get so close, but then not finish history. Or the laundry would get folded, but not put away. Or the menu plan thought in my head, but not written down.
And I felt guilt. This guilt led to frustration. The frustration led to feeling inadequate. The inadequate led to overwhelm.
So, I’d try again. With a better list, a newer curriculum, and a fancier planner. Fail. I still fell short. This time it was math, and dishes, and yard-work. On and on and on.
And now, I felt miserable.
My incomplete to-do list glared at me, boasting of the items I never got to. Instead of seeing the tasks completed, my focus was on all those areas where I fell short. That’s not freedom. Then, today, as I was driving a green train on a track with Elijah images of the half-filled to-do list filled my head. No longer was my train following the right track — rather now, I began to hurry Elijah’s playtime. I raced my train around and told Elijah I needed to get back to work. Driving trains wasn’t on the list.
But, should it have been? Isn’t driving scuffed-up metal trains through make-shift mountains more important then the wrinkly load of laundry waiting to be shoved into drawers? How come cooking pumpkin bars with Chloe never earned a spot on the list? Or snuggling Samuel? Or talking with Brennan?
Where’s that to-do list?
I allowed a piece of paper, with scratched up notes to trump the beauty in the everyday. In the moments that could be lost by simply moving to the next task — without seeing glorious opportunity in the windows of free time. And I beat myself up for not checking off tasks when those tasks, at least most of them, can wait. Elijah will only share trains with me for so long. Samuel will grow. Brennan will move out. This time is now.
My perfectly incomplete to-do list is perfectly complete.
And I am okay with that. I really, really am.
10 comments
I am continually amazed at the inspiration I receive from blogs such as yours.
I am a list maker too and operate by one on a daily basis. I feel much more productive that way. But, I’m no longer sharing my lists with the demands of small children. I cannot even imagine the many directions you are pulled. But, what an awesome point you made and I will look at my lists differently now.
A most blessed week-end is wished for you and thanks for always being so inspiring.
Your first commenter said it right, your blog is probably the most inspiring one that I read. And I am so thankful for that. The truth is, we all get so wrapped up with what is on out ‘to do’ list that the moments we really should be sharing and embracing, are never on that list. So today I might not fold the laundry but play with the kids a little longer 🙂
I LOVE reading your blog!
I really don’t see how you do it, with small children. All our children are grown and I really don’t remember how we did it either. Four kids with four separate agendas to fulfill.
You have the right idea, spend your quality time with your children, and let the dust be and the weeds grow.
Great reminder Rachel, that people are more important than things, even laundry!
very inspiring post… and you are so right Rachel, the perfectly incomplete to-do list just has to be perfectly complete..:)
Blessings,
Ruth
“I allowed a piece of paper, with scratched up notes to trump the beauty in the everyday.”
Oh, how I do this!
Lord, help me to put my little ones over my plans! Help me see your plan for the day, and be flexible enough (and obedient!) to follow in it.
Thanks (again!)
Part of my journey in this struggle…
http://www.donotdepart.com/2010/10/its-been-one-of-those-days.html
This is a reminder that EVERY mom needs! Often, in my case. Thank you for sharing.
xo*tricia
Sometimes we just need to refocus but it is so hard not to get caught up in the stuff that we think needs to be done. Thanks for the reminder.
Continuing to pray!
2 Samuel 22:2-3 And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me…
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This post speaks to my heart in a great way. Although I am not a “list maker” I have expectations that I set on myself. I seldom meet those expectations and then I turn on myself in guilt and telling myself I am not good enough. It’s so important to spend time with our children and those we love!