the fruit cup wars of motherhood

The other day I posted a silly video of me making a plea to fruit cup manufacturers about not filling the fruit cups to the tops with juice all the way because it makes a mess. You know. That mess. The trying to open it without the juice spilling everywhere kind of mess.

It was just for fun.

And to make people laugh.

But I was met with some judging statements.

Presuppositions.

fruitcupnotes

Part of me was like what in the world? We’re having an issue over fruit cups that retail for about 63cents a container? And then part of me wanted to go back in the kitchen and take another picture of all the fruit on my counter. And then, well, then I found myself writing some replies about how the ethos of Finding Joy is community and that we cannot allow fruit cup issues to break that. Because those fruit cup issues (and the name calling) ended up becoming a mini battle ground on a page designed to encourage.

(Did I just write fruit cup issues?)

See what I mean?

But, this is something that we need to chat about. Because let’s face it. At the core of the issue was that presuppositions were made and assumptions were made. That the fruit cups had corn syrup (they didn’t) or that we don’t eat fresh fruit (which is our primary choice). And in making assumptions about another person we’re forgetting community and strength and not just judging me but making blanket judgments about many others.

You know.

I know that the fruit in a fruit cup isn’t the best. I know that some fruit cups have sugar. I know that real fruit is better. Β I know all of that stuff. I know. I understand the passion we have for real fruit.

But I also know even more that I don’t like judging or name calling or forgetting that there are real people on the other sides of our computer screens.

I know that there are some parents who are really grateful to be able to give their kids fruit cups at times. I know that there are parents who have to work to put food in their kids’ lunch boxes and all of that. I know. I am all for awesome and healthy food choices. Absolutely.

But I am also for preserving community.

Screenshot 2015-03-17 08.53.58

I feel that when we forget other people on the other side of the screen that it is easy to chip away and erode community. And when we chip away over and over and make assumptions it is easy to become numb to the fact that there is a real person on the other side of that screen reading words typed back.

And words typed are never as strong as words said.

And words typed can be so easily misread.

And we can forget that there is more than likely a mom on the other side of the screen who is doing her best for her family and making choices in a digitally saturated world of choices. I get more emails from moms feeling alone or misunderstood or not knowing how to be real and all of that. The human connection in a digital world can so quickly disappear.

I believe that we cannot forget the idea of grace first.

Listen.

I know we are all passionate about our beliefs. I know we all want what is best for our children. That, to me, is absolutely beautiful. I know there are things that we can do better or should fight to change or all of that. But we can never allow our choices to become dogma and thus that dogma cloud our views and treatment of others.

So lesson learned.

Talking about fruit cups in a video has the potential to stir up contention.

Screenshot 2015-03-17 08.55.28

But it also has even greater power to create a great deal of community and laughs and moms feeling like oh my goodness I’m not alone and all of that. Do you know that the reason it creates community is because it makes us feel like we’re not alone? We’re not alone in the silly things that we get annoyed with – those silly fruit cups. It’s not about the juice spilling it’s about knowing that there are others out there walking a journey too that get us. It’s not the literal, but the deeper of thread of community that things like this create. And when there is contention it has the potential to create schisms in the world of motherhood over items that start out like fruit cups.

Before you reply to stuff or judge another mom (or day) or any of that my hope is that you step back – just for a moment – and remember that that person is real.

This isn’t even about me.

It’s about us as women (and parents in general) deciding that the person on the other side of the screen deserves our respect. No matter what. Β I really believe that we can be passionate about many things in life, but when we allow that passion to strip away the humanity and kindness and we resort to making assumptions, name calling, or being mean then what good is that passion if it alienates us as moms?

So I say enough.

Listen.

The fruit cup retails for probably about 63 cents.

Screenshot 2015-03-17 08.55.10

It’s not worth a battle on a page about encouragement.

It’s not worth it unless you’ve decided that it’s your battle to fight and then you fight it in places where change can take place. Change cannot take place when we throw arguments and meanness and bitterness into an online space like that. It just stirs contention and makes us lose sight of the awesomeness of what we do as moms.

And seriously, again, when we battle over all of this we forget that there are moms and dads and families out there that would be grateful for that fruit cup to serve. Β Yes. Go back to this always. Β (Read Why Boxed Macaroni and Cheese Doesn’t Define Motherhood).

So my last words are this – before you reply – would you say that to someone’s face in Target or at church or at preschool? Would you come right up and make that judgment or assumption? Would you want your children reading your replies to others?

If not – then it’s not worth typing.

So onward we will go. Living life and doing our best.

Because that’s what matters most.

Doing our best for our kids.

(And letting our children see us adults supporting each other – my son, Caleb, in the video asked to read the comments about his video. The fact that I said no is a powerful statement about when we allow small things to cloud big things.)

And sometimes it just might mean serving a fruit cup.

~Rachel

Oh and in case you’re wondering, here’s the video:

55 Responses to “the fruit cup wars of motherhood”

  1. March 17, 2015

    stacie Reply

    Oh, thank you! I read the comments on FB and then just stopped due to the harshness. I Love your words written here, love your son laughing with you, and love the idea of all of us laughing at a fruit cup in a real life kitchen with a real mom who loves her kiddo enough to incorporate him into her day…thank you for being you. Carry on!

    • March 17, 2015

      Rachel Marie Martin Reply

      Thank you, Stacie. I appreciate it.

      I really tried hard to squash the negativity on facebook – especially because it goes against the ethos of Finding Joy. So sorry that it was so harsh.

      And I’m glad that it made you laugh. That makes me smile.

      With joy.

      Rachel

  2. March 17, 2015

    Nicole S Reply

    Gobs of love. Gobs of juicy, fresh, delicious, encouraging, community-building, nonjudgemental love.

  3. March 17, 2015

    Steph @ MomKaboodle Reply

    I love it ~ and I especially love your classy response to the people who lash out at you for no good reason (aside from the fact that hurting people hurt people).
    Hugs to you for keeping it real and keeping it about moms supporting moms….even when we do things differently. πŸ˜‰

    • March 17, 2015

      Rachel Marie Martin Reply

      Thank you, Steph. I think the fact that we do things differently is one of the most beautiful parts of motherhood. Honestly. But sometimes instead of loving each other’s differences we lose sight and live trying to change their choices versus loving them for where they are in the moment.

      You’re a blessing.
      Rachel

  4. I adore you. I didn’t see all the comments, but did see the video and it was so cute. AND, if we’re being real, it’s true! Thank you for sharing your personality and family with us — you are a true light amongst mothers πŸ™‚ xoxo!

  5. March 17, 2015

    Abbey Dawes Reply

    This makes me sad πŸ™ I’m extra emotional lately, but I just want you to know that your page is awesome, you are awesome, we are all awesome! Why do people judge? Oh well, haters gonna hate! Keep doing what you’re doing!!
    And I giggled because I knew exactly what you were talking about, I open them over the sink! We are all on this crazy, wild journey and like you said, we’re not alone! It’s good to know that other moms are thinking the same menial things as me.
    Thanks for making me giggle about a fruit cup. And poo on those who made me sad over a fruit cup.

  6. March 17, 2015

    samantha Reply

    I didnt see the original post but laughed out loud when i saw your video because it IS impossible not to spill and I have been battling the fruit cup war for sometime now. To those that lashed out… Seriously people take it for what its worth and get off your soap box. I am sure we all have differences in certain opinions on parenting. Do you wish to be judged or come to a community where you can find validity when having a hard day and feel like giving up? Oh maybe you dont ever feel that way but dont intimidate those that do and are on their last rope and NEED to connect and reach out but feel like they might be slammed while already feeling critical of ability to parent when all moms need encouragement and support.

  7. March 17, 2015

    RealMom4Life Reply

    Thank you for writing a blog about being GOOD ENOUGH! It’s crazy to judge and complain about someone else’s small choices. It’s downright bizarre to write about it on a blog/facebook page that is all about being “good enough”. I find myself drawn to your writing because it makes me feel real. Some times I cook from scratch, sometimes from a box. I homeschool my kids, sometimes they go to a co-op. They play with kids that go to both public and private schools. My point being we all make the choice that is best for OUR family! We all have to do what we can so that we are a good mom to OUR KIDS. Not so that we “look” like a good mom to the world. I have been working hard this past year on focusing more on the PERSON (kids, spouse, and ME) rather than appearing the best to others. Your writings have been helping me tremendously with that.

  8. March 17, 2015

    Sandra Reply

    People are always sweating the small stuff! My life motto is “judge less; love more”. I use a knife to cut around the plastic. It’s the only way I’ve found to not get the juice everywhere! While we are on the junket how about yogurt cups? They splatter on me every time!!

  9. March 17, 2015

    Heather Reply

    Good for you and shame on all the harsh critics!! We love fresh fruit but my kiddos chow through it so quickly it is just not practical to always have it on hand. We eat a lot of fruit cups! And I agree with you, it would be SO nice if they were not packed to the top and make a mess while opening. Same goes for yogurt. Ha! Thank you for being SO real! I always can relate with the subjects you write about. You know how to make it real, relatable, and humorous! Keep on being awesome and forget the haters!

  10. March 17, 2015

    Shannon Reply

    I have followed your fb posts for a short while now, and the video made me laugh. We should all relax! I have my own mom decisions I make in my house, and that’s the joy of each one of us. I don’t have an opinion about what other people do in their homes, and I appreciate having my own freedom to make my own choices. Respecting and supporting each other is so much more important than trying to indoctrinate others to your own choices. Anyway my opinion. I’m sorry for what you had to read from some.

  11. March 17, 2015

    Melanie Reply

    For the record, I love that you call your son “dude”. My dad called my brother “dude” all the time when we were little, and it remains a very loving, sweet, and connecting term of endearment between them (my brother just turned 30). And P.S., that video is spot-on — those fruit cups are crazy! Kudos to Caleb for coming up with such a tidy solution.

  12. March 17, 2015

    Sherrie Roderick Reply

    Excellent as always. You my dear are so down to earth. I hate those cups, but my kids love that they get fruit and it is not brown.

  13. March 17, 2015

    Rachel Reply

    Hey,
    You’re pretty awesome and I love your attitude. It really helps me keep perspective. I also think sometimes some people are just going to get a kick out of being nasty. It’s worth spending words on us not getting all judgy really it’s so refreshing. But I just want to encourage you to maybe filter out those comments somehow? Maybe unfriend? Just a thought. But seriously I just love even your photo with “I am enough” written on it. You make a lot of people smile.

    • March 17, 2015

      Rachel Marie Martin Reply

      Yes. On the page I’ve decided to make a statement and if someone doesn’t follow the policy of building up and encouraging then I am going to remove the comments. I need this place to be about community and not angst.

      Thank you, Rachel (who has an awesome name) for the kind comments here. I appreciate them.

      rachel

  14. Sometimes I honestly think people just wanted to find something to be aggressive about… or, sanctimonious about. (We call them “sanctimommies” in my circle- the mommies that act like they are better than everyone else and indiscriminately dole out random passive aggressive ‘advice’)
    When I first saw this video the initial feeling was that of camaraderie – like hey, she gets it, YES! This is a universal annoyance and its “Not just me!” Lol I found the onslaught of bitter remarks terribly ironic considering the video was on the ‘Finding Joy” facebook page lol!
    Lighten up people! πŸ™‚ Rachel, sorry this got so crazy out hand but Mazel Tov on the subsequent traffic as a result Haha! Silver linings, right? Silver linings. lol

    • March 17, 2015

      Rachel Marie Martin Reply

      You’re awesome, Heather. I, too, found the remarks crazy and I wanted to be like, “whoa whoa whoa…this is about joy…not judging.” So I worked super hard to try to reign it in. And then wrote this. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for the reminders about the silver linings too. You’re right. πŸ™‚

  15. March 17, 2015

    Rachel Reply

    I I think the issue is that before social media, television viewers could bark at our television screens anything we liked; we could yell hateful things at our televisions. With social media, people who post things expect social etiquette and polite responses. This has never been taught, so most of us are simply “yelling at the TV ” and not considering that someone can hear us. So posting leaves you open to judgment. I guess it’s not always comfortable when your funny joke is not appreciated. Perhaps a code of etiquette will evolve over time, but on second thought, Road rage still exists… As does graffiti… Where there is a sense of anonymity, I think there will always be stronger judgment/criticism displayed

  16. March 17, 2015

    jill carr Reply

    thank you for this approach, because seriously, why so serious people, it’s fruit cups.

  17. March 17, 2015

    Shellon Reply

    Honestly, I didn’t watch the video (the only time I have on fb is when my very noise prone daughter is sleeping). But I didn’t have to to know that the trolls would be out in droves over it. And I make fruit cup like choices every day.
    Fruit cups are horrible to open. I used to love them but had to quit getting them. But for no judgemental reason beyond the very first diaper I ever changed (as a 25 year old) came off of a boy who had eaten two mandarin orange cups…..I cannot describe my horror or resulting aversion to fruit cups. πŸ™‚
    I am sorry you had such words thrown at you. I am sorry still that I know judgemental women who WOULD come up to you in a store and tell you those exact things. It is so hard as a mom to keep the panic inducing worry about doing the right thing at bay when you have nasty people who can’t see past their own superiority. Keep up the good work!

  18. March 17, 2015

    Alisha Reply

    I was cracking up because I know what a PITA it is to open those things and thought it was such a fun and cute video… then came the trolls! *rolls eyes real hard* I know for a fact that you care about what your kids eat but for the life of me wanted to pimp slap a few of the commentors. #truth I sometimes stop before I post a pic of something containing GMO or one of those lunchables because I’m not in the mood for a lecture. But this post just helped me remember I can do whatever I want for my family and not worry about others. Love you Rachel and props to you dude! LOL

  19. March 17, 2015

    Krystal Paracy Reply

    I also, sickened by the negative ugly ignorant comments people were directing your way, had to stop reading them.

    Way to go with the time consuming walking the fence for all sides classy response to those bullies and jerk who took advantage of a fun mom with something to say. Stay classy Mama.

    What I hate…is how you jut had something to say about a real issue (for some of us) and along comes the bullies who then shat all over your fun light hearted talk about a fruit cup issue, (yes single mom HERE IS just grateful to afford fruit cups as we are currently almost starving), but I recognize the issue of splatter and mess and stickiness as a result, and so taught my 6 year old to hold it down on the desk and two handed peel it back while pushing down the cup onto the table. Works like a charm. Promise! πŸ™‚

    Regarding the bullies….dude…I see this more and more! Ugh…the constant pecking at people! They rush down upon poor people like locusts. If anyone has something to say, they are a target for all this crazy unrelated angst.

    You should see how bad the celebrity’s get it. It’s a million times worse. People are angry about a lot these days, and they use the Internet as some kind of attack forum to get it all out. I find myself keeping off of Facebook more and more these days. …because nobody would date say that to my face.

    I walk to the library a few times a week and my son and I pick books and I read nice things….or scary things…or other things…anything and sometimes nothing in all my novels I devour. And I learn. And I grow. But sitting around reading the ugly comments the locusts make on facebook. I don’t learn a damned thing. Except that those people need to get to the library and learn what decency and morals are. Maybe If they picked up a book once in awhile and read a novel….they might just learn some stuff. Amazing…what a book can teach. But these attackers….they spend their lives all about superficiality. Everything is about looks. They are the Facebook nation. Check the ages on the nasty commenter’s. People who likely only read stuff on facebook. Gen X? Bet nobody our age was talking poop to you. Just sayin sometimes I think it’s a generational thing. The bullying. The Facebook generations. The shallowness. ..it’s concerning.

    Stay classy.

  20. March 17, 2015

    Jennifer Reply

    I find that if I hold it in the sink with one hand and use the other to verrrrrrrrrrry slowly pull back the stupid cellophane part. I can, about 50% of the time, open it without spilling the juice.

    See that–mom-to-mom communication. Word, Dude!

  21. March 17, 2015

    hollis Reply

    I watched the scandalous fruit cup video not realizing the debate it would cause and I didn’t read all the replies because to quote one of my boys favorite youtube videos “ain’t nobody got time for that”. I love what you’re doing with Finding Joy, you remind me to stop and enjoy the little things in my life amongst the craziness that comes with parenting my boys. Keep it up (and psst don’t tell the haters that sometimes my boys get fruit cups)

  22. March 17, 2015

    Folabomi Lewis Reply

    You write some truly inspiring words and I completely agree with you that this is a place to encourage one another, no critics and no judges. I give my daugther a lot of packages food because when I went back to work her carers would give her the things I made. Now she doesn’t like my food. I’m guilt ridden but try to make sure there are no nasty stuff in th and whenever I can I still offer her fresh food. I’m grateful for a place like this where I can be me, without any juries ready to throw the book at me. Thankyou x

    • March 17, 2015

      Rachel Marie Martin Reply

      Yes, yes….you can be you. No judging in this space at all.

      Sweet blessings.

      Rachel

  23. March 17, 2015

    Desiree Reply

    go girl! I thought it was hilarious. πŸ˜‰

  24. I think until there are enough fruit cups to go around to feed all the hungry kids in this country – which would probably mean that all of us who CAN go to Target and stock up on fruit cups to donate, would do it right now – then we probably should save our energy for a “mommy war” that’s worth having. Like caring about the big picture and laughing together at the little things, too… Thank you for always being a source of persistent positivity. I love your blog & community building.

    • March 17, 2015

      Rachel Marie Martin Reply

      Laura,

      I really appreciate your words. And the truth you speak. Reading your comment got me a bit teary.

      Thank you, too, for being such a positive influence in this world.

      Rachel

    • April 1, 2015

      Emily Reply

      Amen! I love your approach!

  25. March 17, 2015

    Kris Reply

    The video was so cute. As an aside to those who judge, some of us wish we could give our children fresh fruit. I have a son with a pollen-food oral allergy (google if you are unfamiliar with this) which means in his case he cannot eat raw tree fruits (apples, cherries, pears, peaches, bananas, etc.), nor can he eat raw carrots or peppers. Additionally he is allergic to almonds, peanuts and soy. He can eat all of those tree fruits in cooked form, however. Those of us with challenging food issues can get pretty excited over applesauce cups or fruit cups since our kids can’t enjoy these foods in their raw state.

  26. March 18, 2015

    Correne Reply

    I often wonder who these women are that make such comments over a light-hearted blog post. How can we teach our kids about bullying and “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” when moms treat each other this way? It’s like mean girls all grown up and it’s so trivial and these people need to focus on what really matters. It’s great to have a passion and to want to educate others about what you believe in but you can’t do that through bullying and snark comments. If these women really cared so much about the nutritional needs of your kids they could have PM’d you some information, not been rude in a public forum. In doing that it only showed their smallness and that they only care about getting attention. I honestly hope as moms we can “blow the whistle” on people who behave this way, it’s not ok. It’s not ok for kids or adults, face to face or via the internet.

  27. March 18, 2015

    Melissa Reply

    Wow, people love to judge! Great response to the haters.

  28. March 19, 2015

    Audrey Reply

    Awesome post. FYI – when opening a fruit cup (or ‘the devil’s fruit’ as I will now mentally call them!) for my son, I open it just the tiniest bit, then suck the excess juice out before it spills πŸ˜‰ Ha! Goodness knows how I would do it for a person I didn’t give birth to…argh, I can already picture the mess. Thanks for the laugh. xox

  29. March 19, 2015

    Jane H Reply

    I didn’t see the original responses and I think I am thankful for that But I watched the video and thought how wonderful you and Caleb did something so creative together. Who knows he may someday invent spill proof containers for fruit cups and we can say we knew him when. I am probably twenty to thirty years older than many of you and I learned long ago to laugh every single day. There are lots of really really hard things in life and if I don’t find some humor in life and learn to laugh at myself my days, weeks and years are going to be incredibly long and lonely. As one of your readers once wisely said, “it’s fruit cups, people.” Have a joyful day.

  30. March 19, 2015

    Erin J Reply

    I love it, Rachel. I hate those stinkin’ fruit cups and I love your post. My 6-year old asks me not to send them in his lunch because they spill, but they keep so much better than fresh fruit in a lunch box that travels the rough road (bus ride, lunch bin, etc) of a 6-year old’s school day! He has actually had the fruit cups “explode” in his lunch box when it bounces around in his backpack, gets kicked on the school bus, etc. Anyway, I LOVE the way you connect to people and help Moms (and Dads) to feel like we are part of a community of other parents going through the same battles, highs, ups, downs, challenges, and joys! Keep it up!

  31. March 19, 2015

    Dani Oldroyd Reply

    Thanks for this! I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I will be writing a post about it soon. I am so sick of Mommy Bashing! I also love your macaroni post.

  32. March 19, 2015

    Emily Reply

    I am shocked that you got such harsh words from people about this!! How has it become okay to be so critical? I’m sorry if any of that hurt you. We all make different decisions and I admire your strength and your conviction as you try so hard to help people all over the world support, love, and encourage each other as we all try to endure and enjoy the journey of life. Thank you for your calm response and your continued encouragement and love for all women! You go girl! (I was tempted to write, “You go dude!” ha ha)

  33. March 20, 2015

    ML Reply

    Imagine a school full of kids trying to open these fruit cups in the lunchroom – and you can imagine the number of hands that go up asking for another napkin! It’s like an epidemic of juice spray everywhere! If someone invented a better way –

  34. March 28, 2015

    Woodstockgurl Reply

    For every mom who responded with snarky judgement, there were probably 632 moms thinking, “Yeah, I know what you mean.” I feel bad for people trying to raise kids in the age of social media, where every move is a measure of your skill and worth, where ‘parent’ is a verb, where nobody is allowed to just be a real person who is living a real life.

  35. March 29, 2015

    Tess Reply

    Oh for the love of fruit cups! I was shocked to read all the comments blasting us moms that buy and feed our children fruit cups! The travesty! Of course, I buy the no sugar added kind. πŸ™‚

    My kids (ages 8, 5, 3 and 3) love peach fruit cups! And frankly, if they want any kind of fruit, I’m down for it! They know that I must open the cup and drain all the good delish syrup out before they can eat it! So keep on fighting the mess of the fruit cup…I will as well!!

  36. March 30, 2015

    Alicia Webster Reply

    Great article–thanks for writing it. As a side note–my daughter was asked to bring in fruit as her “brain break” morning snack. Her teacher told her that she couldn’t eat it because it wasn’t healthy. I was shocked that a teacher thought that HER opinion of what was healthy for MY CHILD trumped MY opinion of what was healthy for MY CHILD. I was also shocked that even though she didn’t approve, she preferred that my daughter do without and be hungry, than eat something that didn’t pass her criteria.

  37. March 31, 2015

    LeAnn Allred Reply

    I just found your blog this morning and this is the first post of yours I have read…..you are officially my newest “mom crush”. I love the fruit cup video (because HOW TRUE is that?), I love your encouragement of moms, I love that you are “real” and I LOVE the way you handled the haters. <3

    • Hhaha!! Thank you LeAnn. I appreciate your words – they totally made me smile.

      rachel

  38. April 3, 2015

    Rachel Reply

    I can totally identify with never being able to open a fruit cup with out spilling it. Such a mess! πŸ™‚ Cute video and great blog post though its sad it needed to be written.

  39. April 4, 2015

    Julia charles Reply

    This, my friend is why I quit Facebook. I am totally sick of the keyboard warriors who hate it when someone does something they disagree with. I get fed up of not being able to voice an opinion anymore for fear that it may “offend” someone enough to lash out in a stupid personal attack. Life’s too short, people!! (I speak as someone who had a stark reminder of this at the end of 2014 when my own mother almost died of a heart attack. Thankfully she survived). I wish we could bring back the old saying “if you can’t think of anything nice to say, then don’t say anything” but in the age of social media some people forget there’s a real person behind their keyboard/tablet/smart phone

  40. June 29, 2015

    Patty Reply

    I found it funny, I feel like we cannot post anything on social media without being judged and scrutinized. It’s become a place of bullying and harassment. it’s ridiculous!! People are so hypocritical. I bet all those people who wrote nasty things have a LONG way to go to become model parents. And why do they care if you call your son dude?? The same thing happens to my best friend, she calls her daughter fetus (inside joke) and her daughter loves it and people feel offended by this, it’s ridiculous!!!

  41. September 9, 2015

    Rossana Smith Reply

    I haven’t had a fruit cup since I was in elementary. I remember spilling then and I thought it was because I was just a kid. I bought some on Monday and this is the second day in a row that I’ve ended up with juice all over myself and my desk. I was like, “What the hell is wrong with me!” I googled, “how to get the fruit cup open without spilling” and ended up here.

    my little boy is 4-1/2 and I find myself struggling to believe that I’m doing anything at all right. His speech is so behind–social skills are right there with it. He is an INCREDIBLY picky eater. I believe the correct term is “selective eater”. He will only eat from a very short list of foods–and none of it comes from the stove. The only protein I can get into him is from strawberry milk and peanut butter crackers. I am judged EVERYWHERE. Even my mother-in-law drops comments, “if you lived with Grandma you’d eat”. I have bitten my tongue till it bled. Only my own mom is understanding–“HAHAH Now you know how it feels” yes, THAT is understanding.

    I’ve tried everything that has been suggested and it gets me nowhere. He will honestly go without food or drink for 2 days rather than eat anything off his list–I couldn’t go beyond that–it was terrifying. Getting him to take “just one bite” comes after hours of work and ALWAYS results in Vomit.

    I grew out of it–my sisters grew out of it. I can only hope that he will grow out of it. But in the meantime I get, JUDGEMENT.

    You’re letting him eat that?
    He won’t even eat hotdogs?
    Have you tried pairing his food?
    Maybe if you took cooking lessons…
    Try cutting it into funny shapes.
    That’s not even organic!
    Don’t give in, he’ll eat when he’s hungry.

    and those people are my FRIENDS. Never mind the random people I meet at restaurants and grocery stores, his teachers, or his doctor. The eye-rolling is extreme.

    I know this is not the healthiest way for him to live but despite the naysayers I HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE. I’m tired of Vomit mixed in tears. But I’m also tired of feeling like a failure. I ask him to try something–I put it in front of him. I eat real food with him. Someday he will eat.

    Right?
    I’m not the worst mom ever?

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